All Aphorisms
A list of all aphorisms, newest appear at the top.
To make a quick dash, just press-0–0-0-00—0--0—00-0–0 swiftly, Rythemically, repeatedly, with your two forefingers—and a dash will somehow miraculously appear; as it’s much easier that way…after all is said and done.
Robby the Robot
I will not fake myself through life.
Bart Simpson
Joe Cool
How is failure possible? We're always just beginning to live.
marty rubin
All these people at international airports must really think they’re going somewhere – and they are.
The One-Eyed Batman & The Porcupine
If you listen to that little devil on your shoulder for too long, sooner or later he’ll just piss in your ear.
Damon Daemon
20 STRONG, SURE-FOOTED OFFSRPING OF SHADOWFAX
COULD NOT HAVE PULLED ME AWAY FROM THE EMPTY SOUL
I WAS LEFT WITH AFTER JUST NODDING AND GOING ALONG WITH
WHATEVER THEY SAID.
E Muzko
The only thing a man has is his balls and his honour; and it’s what he does with them that make them bounce!
Anonymus Anonymous
If only to improve one’s point of view aphorisms are quite nice to do occasionally, but anyone who goes at it all the time is probably quite barmy...
Drew Byrne
Who amongst us dares to un-mask the Masked Aphorist? Especially the one who dwells so furtively in one’s own heart?
Masked Aphorist
This life is full of bullshit, and it just piles up over time.
Swami Raj
Still waters run deep, if thickos never paddle in it.
Swami Raj
Just running down, boys and girls, just running down...to Elysium.
Old Nob of the Mountain
Da death dat goes da bong da gong, is da death dat goes da bong youz!
Bob Jamaika
An expert is someone who will make the same mistake the next time.
marty rubin
Only the especially qualified can put things back together; recreate the mystery.
Ben Wilkinson
All warfare is based on deception.
Sun Tzu
Joe Cool
Life: what a marvellous absurdity.
Daniel Desbiens,(1954- )
Nathalie Tremblay
A temporary double death in front of the mirror: You close your eyes, and both of you vanish.
Firimita Florin
The pessimists are right. But it does them no good to be right.
marty rubin
Optimism: belief that everything will work out well. Irrational, bordering on insane.
K9
Joe Cool
Avoid thinking of yourself as ordinary; despite being almost certainly true it’s almost always certainly a mistake.
Drew Byrne
Sad songs are such a joy to sing.
marty rubin
If your dick starts hurting...then you’ve probably had enough.
Swami Raj
An atheist would be quite unhappy to wake up in Heaven after a quick nap, but luckily that isn’t going to happen too often, unless they change the door policy.
Damon Daemon
There are more loonies outside the asylums than in, but they all think they’re normal.
Bill Smith
Ah, stupidity gets you done—the easy way––as it’s not that difficult a task.
Bill Smith
Man is everything I hate about Man.
Stephanie Gordon
You shouldn’t listen to the little devil on your shoulder who says it’s too late to do anything worthwhile anymore, even though the little bastard might be right.
Drew Byrne
The best revenge is a happy life.
Rosen Zhelev
You’re walking, talking, feeling fine; given health, there’s nothing better than money.
Swami Raj
You’ve got to understand men, they’re like the wind: a force of Nature!
Swami Raj
A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.
Gian Vincenzo Gravina
Scotchmen are well-balanced individuals – they’ve got chips on both shoulders.
English Ted
Altruist: a person who likes to help people more than they like to be helped.
marty rubin
GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME.
carmen rüter
A stitch in time saves needless procedures later.
jimmy mc allister
A stitch in times saves needless procedures later.
jimmy mc allister
You'll get nowhere fast just standing there.
jimmy mc allister
I got rid of my juggler: I couldn't afford the upkeep.
jimmy mc allister
Verbal onanism is a quick one aphorist.
jimmy mc allister
That is the question?
jimmy mc allister
It is easier to pass a needle through the eye of a rich man than to stay on a camel.
jimmy mc allister
It is easier to pass a needle through the eye of a rich man that to stay on a camel.
jimmy mc allister
He who lasts longest laughs last.
jimmy mc allister
If you clap your hands you're happy and you know it.
jimmy mc allister
Too many cooks spoil the telly.
jimmy mc allister
A turd in the hand is worse threw in the bush.
jimmy mc allister
Plastic surgery leaves a lot to be desired.
jimmy mc allister
On your deathbed you shall receive total enlightenment.
Jack Thade
Anyone can fly, all you have to do is throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Johan Jeansson
If the plumbing were that bad in Heaven, there’d have been a revolution there by now!
Damon Daemon
Taking or giving; it all goes around anyway.
Johan Jeansson
A man's "got" to know his laminations!
Bobby Builder
A man's GOT to know his limitatins.
Swami Raj
Strength is being able to put the boot in, because you can.
Bill Smith
Humour: that curiously inbuilt response which enables you to avoid hitting your neighbour with a crow bar.
Bill Smith
Death always has the last word, and that word is: “Pickle!”
Jack Thade
Death is the ugliest of all dancers, nevertheless she always gets the last dance.
LAURENT APICELLA
We waste this life dreaming of another.
marty rubin
With either respect or a lack of respect, it’s still a matter of respecting boundaries.
Masked Aphorist
Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without you consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt.
Joe Cool
Don't look too far ahead or you'll miss a lot.
marty rubin
To survive the tests is the best way to prove oneself.
Daniel Desbiens
Don’t walk with your head down; you don’t have to apologise for being a human being.
Swami Raj
People just carry on – I just don’t understand it!
Swami Raj
Money and luck run fastest together, but when the money runs out the luck went off first.
Swami Raj
Words are the best bargain. You get them for free, and they never run out.
marty rubin
In his heady desire to be optimistic rather than pessimistic an optimist forgets one thing: if a pessimist could be as optimistic as an optimist likes to be, he would be – gladly.
Max Ploughman
If you’re ambitious you want to get there – that’s the whole point!
Swami Raj
If you’re strong you may survive. One good thing is to keep on trying.
Swami Raj
If life has no meaning, it's not necessary to invent one.
marty rubin
Our little life is monkey-magic in a monkey-puzzle tree.
Drew Byrne
What you choose, is what you are!
Max Ploughman
Determination: something with bells on that you pull to make it jingle for you.
Max Ploughman
Comedy is being able to laugh at tragedy.
Conte De Quelquechose
After wisdom comes wit.
Evan Esar
Wise, are you?
Wise, you are?
Oh, no,
You’re not!
Ol’ Bill Moody
I am so wise,
So wise,
So, so wise;
I am,
Yes, I am:
So, so wise;
Oh,
Yes, I am!
The Wise Man
The wise know that the polestar of prudence lies in adapting themselves to the occasion.
Gracián
Joe Cool
Time spent explaining things is better spent enjoying them.
marty rubin
If it all goes awry – pull yourself together!
Swami Raj
The first thing you must comprehend here is a smack in the chops!
Swami Raj
…and we will never know why they put so much sauce in them…
Swami Raj
Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of travelling.
Margaret Lee Runbeck
* Nothing makes us hate the wisdom of others more than our lack of it. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
What’s the last thing you were mindful of? Now, try and remember what it was twelve minutes from…“now!”
Mr. Tempus Fugit
Look for your wisdom where you can find it; after all, it can’t be found anywhere else any more obvious.
Buddy Blank
Optimists think badly, but live well.
marty rubin
An optimist is one who makes the best of it when he gets the worst of it.
Anonymus Anonymous
An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?
Michel de Saint-Pierre
if you're looking for a helping hand, try looking on the end of your arm.
Anonymus Anonymous
A man needs a god to criticise occasionally.
Drew Byrne
Prudence, forethought, and consideration; three wise words found lying on the path to the Magic Mountain.
Jonny Chuckles
Eschew Obfuscation! Espouse Elucidation!
The Big Easy
Is it possible that a man who drinks until he’s drunk, drinks because he likes himself better sober? We may never know, because he’ll more than likely forget all about it in the morning!
Jojo Juju
No, you are not important – that’s the first game rule!
Swami Raj
If you’ve got something to offer – keep your mouth shut!
Swami Raj
One does what one can, not what one can’t.
Abigail Mitchell
* Brevity may be the soul of wit, but it can also be a mercy. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Today when the pot calls the kettle black, it's meant as a compliment.
marty rubin
Brevity is power.
Josh Billings
Wherever it’s from, money never stinks; but whatever it does, it still takes the piss!
Anonymus Anonymous
Sudden death leaves an impression on you.
Anonymus Anonymous
Luck is a very ancient concept, might even be Greek – check it out!
Swami Raj
Sarcasm is less the lowest form of wit and more a testament to the colossal effort of maintaining constant pessimism.
Ben Wilkinson
The most useful instance of prejudice is one not only backed up by facts, but with belief as well.
Damon Daemon
As if people didn’t stab each other in the back because they didn’t enjoy it!
Damon Daemon
There are those who theorize, and those who act – two different people!
Swami Raj
With some people you can only lose, they’re not worth getting what they have.
Swami Raj
With most people the truth is that they have no romance with life, if you have that you’ll be alright.
Swami Raj
Specialize, prioritise, economise: three mighty bridges over the great gulph of adversity.
Jonny Chuckles
An educated fool is more foolish than an ignorant one...
Molière
Joe Cool
What you don’t need you certainly won’t miss when you don’t notice you don’t have it.
Drew Byrne
The less is more, more or less.
Drew Byrne
Between thoughts, travel far and wide.
marty rubin
Putting your boots in the oven doesn't make them biscuits.
David Houghton
Minger: Nice personality but ’as a face like a rotweiller’s arse.
Ali G
Cheeky little lady: A woman who looks like they’ve just been boned.
Ali G
Honesty is for the "birds", as in "nerds!"
Damon Daemon
Never put off doing till tomorrow what you can put off doing today.
Anonymus Anonymous
If you don’t know quite what to do with something, you’d better try to sell it.
Swami Raj
You’re already in jeopardy – if only because you have no bickies for the cup!
Swami Raj
To me, this is this and that’s that and that’s it!
Swami Raj
* Don't assume all bread will make a sandwich. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Dogs bark, but the caravan goes on...
Leonid Sukhorukov
Here’s to all the thickies in the world, it makes life so much more amusing for those sharp enough to make them jump through hoops over it.
Damon Daemon
Oh, pointy, pointy!
Oh, pointy pointed point!
Oh, point!
Oh, pointy-pointy!
Oh, pointy, pointy point!
Oh, point!
Steve Martin
The problem with anonymousity is that it can be looked up on Google, just for the price of a left-click.
Anonymus Anonymous
As a purely temporary physical and mental phenomenon, a man doesn’t even get to run fast enough to catch up with the meaning of his sense of his own purpose...
Buddy Blank
Don't lick bell-end!
Anonymus Anonymous
* Our character is like the captain who is the last to abandon his sinking ship. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* When there is no other way out, we look for another entrance. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Everything is necessarily a form of plagiarism. This is how we justify every project we begin.
Adam Piette
If you’re on the way out, don’t shit on those on the way in.
Jojo Juju
Give a beggar a pound coin and he’ll probably go and buy a can of lager; give a billionaire that same coin and he’s an even bigger beggar, because he’ll probably go and invest it too.
Swami Raj
You have to expect that from people they have no interest in anything except themselves. Of course, if you are useful in some way that can be of interest...
Swami Raj
LESBIANS RULE THE ROOST – OK! AND SOMETIMES THEY DO IT WITH THE RULER!
Millicent Fortesque-Smythe
Better bend for a friend than break like a reed.
Graham Norton
Ignorance of one's ignorance is the greatest ignorance.
Anonymus Anonymous
Today is always the beginning of that "new romantic age": the one that young people look around so hard for.
Jojo Juju
If death is all you're worried about, I'd say you're in the best of health.
marty rubin
If you go looking for enemies then you will find them — the fucking bastards!
Anonymus Anonymous
It’s simple: Insult shall produce ball-kicks, and then that will produce calmness and contentment.
Swami Raj
Figure it all out then reject it, just like the next man. For time will always pass you by.
Swami Raj
You win! – All else is loss! Now that’s direction isn’t it?
Swami Raj
Time is precious, because time is finite.
Swami Raj
Before you speak your mind make sure it's really your mind you're speaking.
marty rubin
The Universe can be a curious place sometimes, occasionally even the Milky Way just reminds me of puke going down a shower’s plughole, especially after a night out with the girls without a meaningful place to go at the weekend.
Sophie Howarth
Life is like a boil on the backside of a brontosaurus, but only the brontosaurus cannot see that.
Monty Don
I think, therefore, I thunk!
Anonymus Anonymous
Anything good or bad lies in your eyes.
Anonymus Anonymous
You may live your life as freely as you like it, but sooner or later you’ll be caught at it.
Drew Byrne
How many truths are really true?
marty rubin
Worldly wisdom: something dirty and demeaning that is always best found hidden away amid the entrails of ignorance and distaste.
Drew Byrne
People come, and people go; which is something you should know.
Anonymus Anonymous
If you are being a “son of a gun”, watch it, it might go off!
Swami Raj
The sharply defined lesson that goes unlearnt by its intended recipient, due to his natural naivety, is also that one aimed at the person who doesn’t see its meaning is directed solely at him, apparently for his own good.
Buddy Blank
* All roads lead to Rome, but some roads to peace lead straight to Pompeii. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
An optimist is a pessimist with experience.
Judy Meath
The sad act of scratching dead philosophy on the wall behind a whorehouse, is always the result of finding out too late that ex-coitus makes you sad!
Monty Don
All things end in unending time.
(Graffito scratched on a wall in Pompeii.)
Anonymus Anonymous
Some clever-clever aphoristic fellows who consider themselves worldly-wise are clearly just being “hoity-toity”, and they know they like it like that too.
Monty Don
You want something axiomatic? Everything you think you know is wrong.
Ben Wilkinson
Tell the truth. It's more disturbing than telling lies.
marty rubin
No matter how wise you may think you are, you can always be as foolish as anyone else can be.
Drew Byrne
Man! this sure is a big pile of aphorisms...and to cap it all, the pointed one just below this has apparently miraculously appeared as the penultimate pinnacle of popularity—just like that!
Monty Don
What we were, you are. What we are, you shall become.
(Tomb inscription, St. Victor, Paris.)
Jack Thade
The companionship of acquaintance is not friendship, as if it was we’d all be somewhat friendlier to strangers without much reason.
Challenged Changeling
* Don't kill the beast in yourself; it may be the only human thing you have left. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
It appears that...Dingbat Alley runs right next to the stately home of Home-Truths.
Monty Don
If you do have any new home truths to impart to the world, you can never be all that original about it.
Drew Byrne
WELCOME TO THE MONKEY-HOUSE!
Oh, Kurt!
Every bird needs her feathered nest.
Anonymus Anonymous
English-chicks love quiet guys, they think they’re listening—cool!
Anonymus Anonymous
No man's success outweighs the sum of his failures.
the judge
The people who enlighten us are the ones who tell us their secrets.
marty rubin
The prick in a box is cooler than any dick in a box.
Monty Don
A man is what he is prepared to do, or he is nothing; however, he can still be a dingbat, despite that.
Drew Byrne
* If you go to bed angry - change the bed. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The Mundane is to be cherished so that the exemplary can be praised
Tim Kent
Whats cooler than a dick in a box.
Amber Radke
A father is a banker provided by nature.
Anonymus Anonymous
Being "ballsy" with the truth is never enough of the whole truth.
Ms. Holly Golightly
I've never seen two negatives make a positive yet.
marty rubin
The benefits of suffering are mostly hypothetical.
marty rubin
What you learn about too late to do anything about is always a memorable academic achievement.
Monty Don
Better to counsel realism than foster illusion.
Michael Schmidt.
All generalizations are too general to be specific in detail, excluding this one.
General Bullseye
There are two types of people who sit at the breakfast table: big-endians, and little-endians; you’ve just got to decide which one you want to be.
Masked Aphorist
A wink and a smile does wonders for the sailor on the sea.
Anonymus Anonymous
If you make waves in the desert you will drown in sand.
Anonymus Anonymous
Trust only those who you can trust and don’t make the mistake of trusting those who you cannot trust but look jolly friendly...
Drew Byrne
Sith si esnesnon: gnithyreve si esnesnon: neve I ma esnesnon!
Yzarc Tibbar
Please Note. None of the merchandise on sale here has been produced or endorsed by Banksy (with the exception of this sign).
Fred Arkright
Be careful of how you like to fit in, jug ears!
Polly Perspicacity
Who’s dead today? Not Me! Good!
Jojo Juju
I'm real sorry about this but...ART IS FOR ARSEHOLES!
Drew Byrne
The word "Nothing" is already something.
marty rubin
Real problems always have a solution. The problems that have no solution are those the mind invents.
marty rubin
Never spout the obvious; it’s too precious a commodity to be let loose on the world for nothing.
Drew Byrne
Some people can manage to stay up all night, just so as to avoid going to bed before it gets too dark in the morning.
Jojo Juju
Smart people recognize that there are absolute truths. Wise people recognize that there aren't.
Robert Hoekman, Jr.
Never talk to creeps, lest they find out why they’re creeps.
Swami Raj
This then above all else is true: No matter what weird and wonderful wacky ideas you might hold onto to get you through the day and whatever you do with them, you leave the world exactly as it was when you got here.
Buddy Blank
satisfaction truly comes not in accomplishment, but in beginning a new challenge.
tim hinson
Failing in persistence and endeavour not only gives you the chance of being overlooked for your efforts, but also of being ignored by the successful as well.
Buddy Blank
We're the slaves of our bodies. We don't have to be the slaves of our minds.
marty rubin
People pray for good fortune, not arthritis. But they get arthritis anyway.
marty rubin
Man is the most easily conditioned of all.
Said Saillant
Only those who try to understand life live.
Said Saillant
Reality shapes the mind and the mind shape reality.
Said Saillant
Life has no meaning but that which we give it ourselves.
Said Saillant
You cannot escape your perceptions; you can only extend their reach.
Said Saillant
Talk is jabber, talk is cheap; let’s go do it on the Pieste!
Bonksy Banksy
I'm in training to be the slowest runner in the race.
marty rubin
Laugh, and the world laughs back; don't laugh, and it'll kick your teeth in.
Buddy Blank
Crafty men deal in generalizations...
Anonymus Anonymous
It's a good life, if you don't weaken.
Violet Rosina
Red means run son, numbers add up to nothing.
Swami Raj
Neighbours are people we cannot afford to live further away from.
Sam Pickering
Human contentment, if not true in reality, is a useful contrivance for a bald-faced monkey!
Anonymus Anonymous
When you see a pratt in a Ferrari, you’ll be glad you’re not a pratt.
Monty Don
Some things will change, but this will never change. A little girl on her porch, playing with her dolls and singing.
marty rubin
Some fellows mistake wit for wisdom because they can laugh at it; or at least some fools do.
Monty Don
The thoughts we choose to act upon define us to others, the ones we do not define us to ourselves.
Yahia Lababidi
The beauty of nothing is that it continues.
Anonymus Anonymous
* Go mad wisely. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When you don't decide, life decides for you.
marty rubin
The future cannot be seen even with the most powerful telescope.
marty rubin
We are disillusioned by illusion, not by reality.
marty rubin
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WEB MASTER
Stupidity occurs naturally enough until you step on it––then it gets everywhere.
Monty Don
Don’t admire too many people too often for too long, you forget their names.
Monty Don
So many words, so little to say.
marty rubin
* Of all people eager to stay on top, he who stands on the edge of a precipice desires it most. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
There are only two directions in life: up or down!
Swami Raj
A touch of insanity now and then makes us all giggle for the occasion.
Joe Cool
The flabby wine-skin of his brain yields to some pathologic strain, and voids from its unstored abysm the driblet of an aphorism.
The Mad Philosopher
All experience is now concrete.
Anatole Broyard.
The Grim Reaper’s got your name in his Fileofax!
Ruth Graves
BILL STICKERS WILL BE PROSECUTED!
The Management
Better to sit alone all day in a dark room than go out and try to change people.
marty rubin
If you push, you will live; that is life, and the cost of life also.
Anonymus Anonymous.
A man is full of hopes, dreams, wishes, and expectations—fuck him!
Millicent Fortesque-Smythe
A long silence never means what it says.
marty rubin
I Try to Take One Day at a Time, but Sometimes Several Days Attack Me at Once.
Ashleigh Brilliant
I am a funky-robot looking for meaning!
Robby the Robot
Life’s mostly full of shit, but thankfully we have beer and skittles to help with the resultant constipation.
Monty Don
No protection for the back four, no protection on the bedroom floor.
Yogi Perks
Don’t feed the monkeys: they like soul-food best.
Monty Don
Nothing is easier than to keep a secret: all you need to do is to shut your mouth.
Anonymus Anonymous
What a pity it is only a fear of failure that most keeps us from failing...
Monty Don
Is it safe? Of course it is!
Ginly B'stard
No matter how depressed you are you still have the power to depress yourself further.
Zoe Wanamaker
No one thinks of the obvious so the obvious is the unknown.
marty rubin
Someone has to pay for a man to support himself, and it always ends up as the man who does it.
Monty Don
Don’t forget, if you need any help, call the fire brigade; they’ll cool you off.
Monty Don
You can save yourself, but words can't save you.
marty rubin
Morris Dancing: common sense in a crazy world!
Swami Raj
There’re different strokes for different folks!
Swami Raj
I have a bad memory. Every day seems new to me.
marty rubin
You are not yourself!
Barbara Kruger
Beware of the next moment: you could remember it for the rest of your life!
Monty Don
There are no angels but there are a myriad of insects blown in the wind.
Thee Weatherman
Well, when I talk sense, at least I know it's nonsense!
Monty Don
* Every age has its cage. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The fucker you know is worse than the fucker you don’t know…
Swami Raj
The opinionated man who's newly come to the throne says, “Well, if it’s good enough for The Queen…”
Monty Don
Insomniacs exaggerate the pleasures of sleep.
marty rubin
If you marry for love and not for money, you'll have warm nights and cold days.
Swami Raj
Look, I don't expect to die, I expect to live!
Swami Raj
If you keep on turning right at the cross roads of life, you’ll eventually return from whence you came over and over again...ad infinitum and beyond!
Drew Kalm Jr.
We think in a maze and only our actions can set us free.
marty rubin
With people, what you see is what you get: dilettante, superficial. There’s not much more to them.
Swami Raj
* A loose tongue is the easiest way to tie yourself in knots. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Happiness is pleasure without guilt. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Openness is closeted from a darker corner.
Swami Raj
It’s useful to have an opinion, so you can slip it in when nobody’s looking.
Swami Raj
Why doesn't the Frankenstein Monster ever smile on Monday mornings? We may never know!
Frank E. Steinitz
Reality is always easier to face with a little illusion by your side.
marty rubin
Doing is believing.
Monty Don
New life started today…very much like old one, but more of it.
Polly Perspicacity.
Not until the red light stops will they ever let you go...
Swami Raj
Somehow inject meaning where the message had previously been.
Barbara Kruger
The impractical is the unreal until somebody makes it practical.
marty rubin
There is a subtle skill in knowing when to be inept.
marty rubin
By Gimminy! What a load of questionable questions there are that have no reasonably discernable answers…
Masked Aphorist
Dogs that can’t wag their tails get bit, and that’s really not fair, but what is?
Drew Byrne
What does this term well adjusted mean? Does it mean weasels at the top?
Drew Byrne
Why do nothing worthwhile if you can do what you have to do instead?
Drew Byrne
We are all suffering Bipolar Disorder between these two acts: We think/do things good and bad.
Ore Hendive
The worm’s eye view – so often the true one!
Swami Raj
I understand self-reliance: it’s pushy-pushy-pushy all the time – with jam on top!
Swami Raj
Happiness — that state of tabescent bliss unobtainable unless you don’t quite know what it is.
Bremer Caiboes Jr.
What drives you? Is it a Mini or a Thunderbird?
Masked Aphorist
How many changes must take place before we can be satisfied with things as they are?
marty rubin
Sitting in the middle you have to turn your head to sit and read.
Barbara Kruger
Where quietude has gone, there is only noise...
Frank Thunk
Real life is: Input! Input!
Swami Raj
Speak no new truth too loudly and fear the faulty memory of old friends.
John Doe
Don’t always graffito on the wall; but also do it on the piste!
Bonksy Banksy
I aint such a mug as to put up my children to all I know myself.
Alfred Doolittle
Nothink for nothink ’ere, and precious little for sixpence!
Alfred Doolittle
Your philosophy is bounded by mistakes...
Masked Aphorist
Strength and honour!
Maximus Duracellust
The mind cannot foresee its own advance.
Friedrich Hayek
When you know everything, it still doesn’t change anything.
Swami Raj
Contestants are for beauty contests; players just keep on going.
Swami Raj
Between greatness and cheesecake I"ll take cheesecake.
marty rubin
All the wisdom of the world is in your nut: don’t crack it open.
Masked Aphorist
Break the code: just do it!
Diddle Wanger
Being you...is not being me!
Masked Aphorist
* Why is it easier to fire a person who does the work of ten than those ten whose work he does? Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
’Tis – was! And nobody was your friend...
Swami Raj
If you are compressed – push out! No one lives in a box.
Swami Raj
When bits drop off of their own accord, stick them back on with superglue!
Eric Bentley
WHAT GOOD IS A LIE IF YOU CAN’T TELL THE TRUTH SOMETIME?
Jesse Jane Ramirez Jr.
Should I refuse the honey because the bee stings?
marty rubin
Life is a game you lose but once.
Demian LaVigne
Cobblers proliferates profusely, until it’s stepped on––pronto!
Monty Don
An idle thought is caught in amber, until it’s burnt as fuel.
Drew Byrne
an Aphorism is a statement, here's mine..
WA ZA
We don't need to spread the wealth, we need to spread the bread and butter!
Troy Yap
The best thing to do is to be able to do it yourself.
Bobby Builder
Much modern art prompts the question: Is it Art?
Alan Collett
It takes more to write a good aphorism than a dash of witty repartee and a crease in the trousers...those are tall words, better stop and think a minute!
Monty Don
If you take what you want then you want what you get...I think nobody can argue with that.
Swami Raj
It takes more than big letters and a big ego to make a great aphorist…
Monty Don
One should not put down, one should cut down!
Swami Raj
Aphorism: a cat chasing a squirrel along a telephone wire.
marty rubin
Aphorism: what is worth quoting from the soul’s dialogue with itself.
Yahia Lababidi
Nobody reads these aphorisms, because nobody deserves to know the truth.
Masked Aphorist
Do not say nothing here! Say something meaningless instead!
Masked Aphorist
Beware of puny two-legged creatures claiming to be made in the image of God.
marty rubin
Superficially, an aphorist is a bit like a philatelist, only he’ll never admit it.
Anonymus Anonymous
* Criticism does not require as much evidence as praise. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Spectacles remind us that our sight hangs on our ears. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Keep banging away at it man, you'll get somewhere delightful!
Masked Aphorist
All you have is existence––that’s all there is to it.
Swami Raj
If you’re weak you attract people who think that’s sweet.
Masked Aphorist
* To lay golden eggs, peck on the grains of truth. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When I lose something I was afraid to lose I find I don't miss it.
marty rubin
All the world loves a laughing looser, but why do it if you can win?
Swami Raj
Understanding people’s indifference to one’s wishes, underscores one’s understanding of one’s self.
Masked Aphorist
To be strong implies a knowledge of what weakness will do to your hollyhocks.
Masked Aphorist
Give me peaceful, uneventful days, days that are easy to forget.
marty rubin
You can turn a joy into a torture just by making it so.
Swami Raj
In the fight for survival, a tie or split decision simply will not do.
Masked Aphorist.
I don't want to know where the squirrel stashes its nuts.
marty rubin
Before you say something stupid—shut your mouth, stupid!
Masked Aphorist
If you don’t stand up for yourself, you may only sit where you’re told.
Drew Byrne
trees don't complain about anything, and they can live forever
Tori Rowland
Nobody reads these aphorisms...not even: I!
Masked Aphorist
May it go on forever: this day. Life.
marty rubin
If you want something, ask for it.
Masked Aphorist.
The world is full of people who do something; they aren’t daft, so they must be normal.
Swami Raj
This World Could Wither The Soul Of A Saint.....Fortunately I'm Not One.
Ahmed " Asko" Askalany
to succeed we all need to triple our failure rate
Grahame Broadbelt
I’d hesitate to hit a woman with a hat on, but when she decides to take the gloves off that could be a different matter.
Zob! The Destroyer!
Mind what you have learned. Save you it can.
Master Yoda
Change is always trivial compared to what doesn't change.
marty rubin
The past is the only thing you have to dwell on in this world.
Swami Raj
You strain to understand the point, or you might miss the boat.
Zob! The Destroyer!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU ARE HERE.
Elyse Parks
Don't waste words, jump to conclusions.
Borrowdale Hermit
Right questions are probably problems...what you are looking for is answers...they are questions in another guise really.
Swami Raj
I tell you: it's a dog's life, any way you look at it!
Alfred Doolittle
A lot of money makes you feel prudent-like; and then it's goodbye to happiness.
Alfred Doolittle
Scratch backs; for whomsoever scratches backs gets his, or her, back scratched back.
Drew Byrne
Is knowing that you know nothing the same as knowing something?
marty rubin
There is music you never hear unless you play it yourself.
marty rubin
If one truely has lost hope, one would not be on hand to say so.
Eric Bentley
Nothin’ for a dollar ‘ere, and precious little for a monkey!
Albert Doolittle.
If you feel sad, just feel your heart beat.
Swami Raj
A man has to know when to burp; if he can't burp, well, he's not full yet.
Alfred Doolittle
Never trust a man who owns hair straighteners.
Emily Mcgeevor
My other aphorism is full of ennui.
Zob! The Destroyer!
The more idealism proves futile, the more I respect idealists.
marty rubin
Knowing how to sing and being able to sing is still not singing.
marty rubin
Most wise men won't tell you what you need to know because
they haven't got a clue about you anyway.
Swami Raj
Your capacity to improve your life is bounded by your incapacity to do so.
Drew Byrne
Dreams change the world-but only in dreams.
marty rubin
Wanting to do something for yourself is a greater force for change than wanting to do anything for anybody else.
Drew Byrne
Everything changes, but everything stays the same.
Drew Byrne
One day your life
will stop ringing.
Answer it.
Eric Nelson
* Human wit is only an image of universal sense. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Others chase their dreams. I dawdle behind.
marty rubin
Never express yourself more clearly than you can think.
Niels Bohr
Spend yourself; there's plenty more.
marty rubin
The constellations don't need to be rearranged.
marty rubin
If it rains tonight, rain will be the cause.
marty rubin
Failure comes only after death.
Ore Hendive
Good humor is the sun on cloudy days.
marty rubin
What is fog on the surface is also fog deep inside.
marty rubin
Tears are reflections of your soul!
Ore Hendive
Tears are replections of your soul!
Ore Hendive
"Dreams may have or no have path. Failure comes only after death."
Ore Hendive
Pie is good. Homework is not pie.
~James Patterson
~ flarglepuf
Birds are always shitting on my car but I don't take it personally.
marty rubin
How high do you have to jump to get over yourself?
marty rubin
Sometimes out of sheer perversity reality conforms to my wishes.
marty rubin
But me no buts, just butt your butt into the butts and butt off!
Drew Byrne
To seek amity amongst the controversial is a dangerous thing to do for the one-eyed bat-man!
Zob! The Destroyer!
* In politics, one man’s failure is another man’s fault. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
I am not a robot
Tori Rowland
Life's an old story. We all know how it ends.
marty rubin
I loved the sun, people, happiness-I never understood them.
marty rubin
A strange delusion: I never feel I'm missing out on anything.
marty rubin
* One man’s pain is another man’s painkiller. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Life may be nothing but a series of detours.
marty rubin
It's not worth staying up all night just to paint masterpieces.
marty rubin
The wages of sin is a little more freedom.
marty rubin
Nothing succeeds like indifference to success.
marty rubin
Even life isn't worth dying for.
marty rubin
I watch the sparrows flying from tree to tree. Not a single one doubts its freedom.
marty rubin
Even when you dial the wrong number there's someone on the other side.
marty rubin
A chain grows weaker with each new link it adds.
marty rubin
I'm not only lazy myself, but I inspire laziness in others.
marty rubin
What is is plenty, but more is never enough.
marty rubin
One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it's worth watching.
Rachel Diaz Diaz
The landscape looks different from every blade of grass.
marty rubin
Dear friends-Tori Rowland and Tilly Vadim:
There is no such thing as too much freedom or happiness.
marty rubin
* Light travels faster than sound, but sound is still louder. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Silence adds sparkle to many a speech. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
marty rubin writes too much also
Tori Rowland
Leonid Sukhorukov writes to much
Tilly Vadim
everything is false
Tilly Vadim
What if God really exists? That'd be the funniest joke of all.
marty rubin
Putting the poor and homeless in jail should be opposed on the grounds that it is cruel and usual punishment.
marty rubin
The amusement park was our best invention; the museum, the worst.
marty rubin
* Why does the ruler of the Earth have to live in Heaven? Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* It’s hard to look your boss in the eye and lick his boots at the same time. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
A time and a season for everything, but happiness first.
marty rubin
Looking in the mirror is seeing what other people see.
marty rubin
Never do anything important if you can help it.
marty rubin
"someday, someone may make a movie of your life. make sure it doesn't go straight to video"- Anthony Burrill
Tori Rowland
A philosopher who denies happiness is like an astronomer who denies the stars.
marty rubin
Let every breeze draw you out of yourself.
marty rubin
I'm not arrogant, even some people didn't like Jesus.
Nick Michalski
Walking is blind, even toward a clear horizon.
marty rubin
Illusion will never change into something real
Tori Rowland
Experiences for which there are no words get along fine without them.
marty rubin
Some people are born stupid, but most of us got that way in school.
marty rubin
The cavity of your body may be filled with organs, but your soul is empty - filled with nothing.
Jane Wei
Since I don't write about culture, politics or sex, only the wind reads me.
marty rubin
When I told the rainbow what its colors meant, it laughed.
marty rubin
Marty Rubin never lost so much time as when he submitted to learn of the computer.
marty rubin
Everybody calls me "Marty." I never know what to call myself.
marty rubin
I eat lots of candy. It's good for my health.
marty rubin
* Democracy offers the freedom to write and the right not to read. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
I'm a realist. I think life is beautiful.
Everything is real when it happens and a dream afterwards.
marty rubin
Where would you be if you left all your troubles behind?
You don't need misfortunes to be miserable. Imagination will do the trick.
marty rubin
Put on a red nose and baggy pants when the circus is in town.
marty rubin
The real vacation is from the mind.
marty rubin
Press your lips to the fountain and drink life in.
marty rubin
* These days, wisdom means knowing that we don’t need to be wise. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Only the very young, the very old, the very rich and the insane can get away with saying exactly what they feel.
Irena Sprey
WHEREVER YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE
wendy rush
One day you will look back and laugh.
nova caliente
I guess we will find that out..
WA ZA
Without asking a clear question, there won't be a clear answer.
Gabi Jaime
Some people are just too temporary for anything permanent.
Jonathan Anthes
Jonathan Anthes
Sometimes loving humanity means hating people.
Garland Gardner
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
Elizabeth Ashton Foster
Only after disaster can we be resurrected.
Elizabeth Ashton Foster
Intelligence does not need Intel inside
All it needs is a good sense outside
Ravi Gupta
Cultivated monstrosities become the purest ornaments.
Mustafa Gür
"Chivalry is dead, but it's still kind of cute."
Sam Fitzpatrick
Live life in love with one another
Matt Augustine
Freedom is a great horse to ride; but to ride somewhere.
Matthew Arnold
Per Bertelsen
The poor and unfortunate don't have the luxury of time to learn to fish.
Mr. Dahi
* If you want to test a genius, set a fool on him. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Happy New Year!.. It’s an April Fools’ Day!
Leonid Sukhorukov
The more one learns, the less one knows.
leigh hawker
that wasn't tea.
Dee Amazing
* Prejudices are habits which have lost track of time. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Prejudices are what fools use for reason.
No Ne
Clever tyrants are never punished.
No Ne
A love one will never push you down.
Christina ROBOTO
When recession swells, sex sells!
Per Bertelsen
Life is not a dress rehearsal; LIVE IT!
Per Bertelsen
"Don't take life so serious, son. It ain't nohow permanent!"
Pogo Possum by Walt Kelly
Anne Donahue
* Маанисиз ойлорду алтын менен да кооздой албайсың. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Kyrgyz language)
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Kadedale inimesele halvim kink on palee... kust avaneb vaade teisele, veel paremale paleele. Leonid S. Sukhorukov - Estonian
* The worst present for an envious person is a palace… with a view of a better one. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
- English
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Our sins are our best assassins. Leonid S. Sukhorukov ("All About Everything", UK, 2005)
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Our sins our best assassins. Leonid S. Sukhorukov ("All About Everything", UK, 2005)
Leonid Sukhorukov
CONCEPTUAL ART IS A GOOD IDEA
- John Baldessari
Chungaiz Khan Mumtaz
today is not yesterday, tomorrow will be better
Amie Ward
When spring comes we look at our dead lawn with dispare. We then go out and buy fertalizer with our well earned money. When we get home we spread the fertalizer own the dead grass and hope that it grows. We then wait. Soon the grass become very thick and tall. So we then cut our freshly grown grass down. What do we do with it then? We rake it up and throw it away. So... for a recap... we buy, wait, cut, then throw away. Honostly... what is the point?
Kinda makes you think... doesn't it?
yeah...
Allison C
Everything will not be okay, but things will improve. If you're getting better, you can't get any wors.e
Marielle de Torres
Crap happens. Learning how to flush it and make it all go away is the key.
Allison C
Reach for the stars.
Jana Miller
why does everyone always seem to be
far more clever than me.
Arne van Oosterom
Life can seem like a big messy bowl of spaghetti bolognese, think yummy and put on your plastic bib and start twirling your fork. Get the sauce all over your face. Want to use a knife and fork or pick out the mushrooms, go for it! Enjoy !
debbie winton
The tragedy is when man does not know himself or his enemy
debbie winton
We all have to answer are own questions. If you listen to others, it can help make sure you are asking the right question. If you follow others you are not even asking and if you keep asking the same questions, you avoiding the answers you already know. It is in writing that answer that we have learnt.
debbie winton
* Sleep and rise by the Sun and you will shine longer. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Diamonds only form under pressure.
Antony Thomas
To do or to undo. That is the question.
Maggie Claire
There is a simplicity in every complexity.
Maggie Claire
"If we are going to grow old gracefully, we ALL have to grow old gracefully. It's only fair." - Debra Di Giovanni
Sarah Battersby
We think we understand reality but our universe is only one of many.
Maggie Claire
What if you were no longer afraid?
Maggie Claire
Happiness is in how you see the world.
Wade Redfearn
Media is fluid. Know your volume.
hippie dad
Don't search for something you don't want to see.
Marielle de Torres
Sanity is but a part of insanity.
Stasa Stanisic
You don't have to go to the other side to get greener grass, but you do have to put up with shit for awhile the other way.
ChiChi Leibman
Understand and forgive that you can't completely trust anybody, not even yourself but, always have faith.
debbie winton
sit and listen to the wisdom of others, then run hearing only the sound of your heart.
debbie winton
* “Labour created man”(Fr.Engels)and man made life laborious. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Life is like sports. Sometimes you want to kill everyone on the field, but in the end it's all about haveing fun.
Marl Kondloch
Twitter made me learn one key thing: Relevance is relative!
Ralf Beuker
The glass is te wrong size.
Nick T
Discipline a child like you would brush your teeth; don't over do it.
Alex Rosenthal
* The more we know, the easier it becomes to admit what we don't know. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Knowing what you want is hard, making it happen is the easy bit.
Kate Jones
Life is a deck of cards; all of them jokers.
Antonie B
If its not an Ox its a cow.
vitor _
"If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got."
J. Mabley
CRUSHES ARE LIKE THE FLU, THEY CAN ONLY LAST FOR SO LONG.
Alex Rosenthal
I NEVER TRAVEL WITHOUT MY DIARY. ONE SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING SENSATIONAL TO READ ON THE TRAIN. (O. Wilde)
Lara Callegari
The Non-existent is whatever we haven't sufficiently desired. (F. Kafka)
Lara Callegari
A little rebellion every now and then is a good thing.
Seb Gillen
Question Everything.
Seb Gillen
* It's extremely difficult to devide people into good and bad, especially when they are too good at being bad. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Everything in moderation including moderation.
Mark Eijsermans
It is not uncommon to commiserate with a stranger's misfortune, but it takes a really fine nature to appreciate a friend's success. Oscar Wilde
Natasha Dean
An army of stags led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a stag...!!
Aftab Hameed Khan
Sometime you make a mistake
and sometime a mistake makes you
Ravi Gupta
Looks good, is good.
Lukas Barry
* The sixth sense is vital in marriage, particularly after the fifth divorce. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
You get in love by chance,
but you fall or rise in love is by choice.
Ravi Gupta
music is about hiting the earth w/ your feet, not waving your hands in the air
doru persinaru
If foresight was as deadly accurate as hindsight, risks would be too clear to ignore, and new experiences would be too frightening to embark on.
Alex Vail
I am conditioned to be air-conditioned.
Morgan Phillips
Mediocrity is forgiven more easily than talent. Emil Krotky
Nestor Uvarov
* Eating each other when we are not hungry is what distinguishes us from the rest of the animal kingdom. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Will someone please switch off the limelight. PLEASE!!!
Sunil Malhotra
My motto is start at the top and work your way down
Stephen Lindsay
* When the TV programme's ratings fall, advertise Viagra. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Being at your wits' end opens new horizons. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If the minimum wasn't good enough it wouldn't be the minimum.
Franz Hamilton
A rich man has many friends... a poor man but a few
Ed Campanella
There is a simple rule of life,
Either you enjoy the life,
Or life will enjoy with you.
Ravi Gupta
* A professional doesn't have to be competent, just persuasive. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Remember, wherever you are, there you'll be!
albert bruchs
Having money isn't everything, not having it is.
Yasin Dahi
It's a whatever-situation whenever she's around
Mr. Dahi
* We'll all be there one day. So there we are. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to slide across the finish line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, leaking oil, and shouting GERONIMO!!! - Bill McKenna
John Jenkins
I am ...
Who is I?
toon nolten
He sets extremely low standards for himself and fails to meet them regularly
Stephen Lindsay
To think is to educate, to act is to learn
debbie winton
The greatest gift you can give, to yourself and others is your precious time.
debbie winton
You may only have one life, dont give it to others
debbie winton
Philosophers have sought to understand the world. The point is to complain about it.
Paul Evans
Imagination is composed of artificial layers of reality.
Joyce Yang
* Even the sun blushes when it sinks. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
It is better to seek forgiveness than permission
Stephen Lindsay
Uneducated, amateur aphorists are condemned to erroneously think they are original.
Dan Abrams
Bite your tongue too much, it swells.
Joseph Samuel Beckett, 2008
Joe Beckett
Life is a form of insanity.
alexandra smiley
* Life gives us a world of chances but not the time to travel. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
APOLOGIES AND PROMISES ARE BUT THE FLOWERS ON OUR TONGUES
Vicente Butron
Men make a long story short. Women make a short story long.
Maarten P. Kappert
There is no "I".
There is only being there.
Jon Leflar
The only thing I love about this life is the fact that I hate it.
Jon Leflar
I prefer to rule in Hell, Than to serve in Heaven.
Joe Rouhana
* Laugh at yourself and smile at others. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
P.S.: We've got plenty of space for our genius here.
Leonid Sukhorukov
Be humble and never forget that there is a Leonid S Sukhorukov in all of us
Jack Gardner
You have permission to look at life sideways.
Katie Jergens
time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
John Lennon
* Earthly paradise is an illusion of the perfect life. Hell is the perfect life without illusions Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The good thing about wearing a bra is that you don't have to take it off.
jill mathieu
Don't try just do it,
There is no such thing if you try.
Erik Chang
SIT, WALK, OR RUN, BUT DON'T WOBBLE
Walter Spoonbill
Gnothi Seauton.
Know Thyself.
Don't be lazy, take a break and think about it.
Michael Grinn
The best outlook on life is that of the optimistic pessimist.
bobby cashman
I am me,
you are you.
The difference between me and you
is what makes me me and you you.
luc nagel
Definitely, definitely, definitely do whatever it is you're thinking.
Sam Fitzpatrick
DON'T LET ANYONE EVER
MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU
DON'T DESERVE WHAT YOU WANT.
GO FOR IT.
Patrick, 10 Things I Hate About You
Shannosaurus Rex
Don't let anyone ever
make you feel like
you don't deserve
what you want.
Go for it.
Shannosaurus Rex
Everything that is done in the darkness will come out into the light
Natily Ayala
It is human nature to think wisely and to act in an absurd fashion - Anatole France
Louise Simms
People who don't question life, do on their deathbeds.
Tegan Schetrumpf
Strength in mind, strength in body – loose one and you've lost the other.
Pandora Shallcross
* Weakness is force of habit. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Please, someone mention to Leonid Sukhorukov - less is most definitely more. (*-*)
Pandora Shallcross
* Freedom is the illusion of an imprisoned mind. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
* Liberdade é a ilusão de uma mente encarcerada. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Portuguese)
* Libertad es la ilusion de una mente encarcelada. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Spanish)
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Freedom is the illusion of an imprisoned mind. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
* Liberdade é a ilusão de uma mente encarcerada. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Portuguese)
* Libertad es la ilusion de una mente encarcelada. Leopnid S. Sukhorukov (Spanish)
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Experience is what you get when you've managed to get rid of what you've got. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Marriage is like a bicycle: it has two wheels but only one seat. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Words are euphemisms for the Unspeakable.
Guy Geduldig
Nervous tension is an unseen enemy of the human mind.
Ari Weiss
Stop looking at this box and go outside. Or do whatever the hell you wanna do, because you can.
Ari Weiss
The difference between experience and expertise is knowing the difference.
Alan Sangma
If It's Not Broken Don't Fix It
Fans of Rick O'Shea & Nikki Hayes
Don't take life too seriously. You'll never make it out alive.
Jeremy Schanzbach
Waiting for something is worse than knowing the outcome.
Pandora Shallcross
let your feet stomp.
kimberly rose
If life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice in its eyes then mug it.
What has this site come to but people dribbling on about life!!!
matthew zeiler
Love dropped out of school in first grade
Antonio Pozo
Whenever I clasp a peach in my hands, I feel like I have the world within my grasp.
Emily Richards
A vacant lot is like pie
Michael Hollander
ONE MAN'S FAITH IS ANOTHER MAN'S INCREDULITY, WITH LITTLE IF ANYTHING TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THEM.
morgan evetts
* Life is what we make it. Plus expenses! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Only concern yourself with things that exist.
Roxanne Garofalo
Life is a sadistic bitch whose candid cover is surprisingly deceitful.
Rosali P
Ideas cannot be destroyed. Freedom is an idea.
Julian Adams
Imagination is the best way to say "fuck you!" to reality.
Paul Marique
Help until it hurts, and then help some more to ease the pain.
Antonio Pozo
When crossing the road, think like a car.
mark roder
* The egg does not teach the hen but it perplexes her. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Worshipping power creates the inquisitor. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. It will spoil the lawn. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When you're skating on thin ice, be prepared to get wet.
Juliet Newman
Nothing really matters, but that's the beauty of it.
Anony Mous
if the idiots could fly, we wouldn`t see the sun
Torcida Moria
truth is, we're all confused. some merely hide it much better than others.
kenny ezra
I have voted 'against' someone for the last time, hopefully.
John Williams
Speak or be silent
tom lancaster
The early bird catches the worm but the second mouse around gets the cheese.
matthew zeiler
Love and shit are the very same thing. Pouring it out feels great but it won't last.
Crack Whore
Love and shit are the very same thing. Pouring it out feels great but it won't last.
Crack Whore
* The harder we fight for peace the greater the danger that no stone will be left standing. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Fight for truth peacefully. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Never interrupt a silent enemy. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Book of aphorisms "All About Everything", UK, 2005)
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Don't trust a mirror. It can't tell left from right. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* If you don't believe in the resurrection of the dead, look at politicians seeking re-election. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Don't believe the next aphorism.
luc nagel
I went to thedailyaphorism.com and all I could submit was this lousy aphorism.
luc nagel
I am not a robot
luc nagel
Everybody else's story is just as complicated as your own.
Zach Selby
* Wisdom is the meeting point of doubt and certainty. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Once candle is lit, time melts away. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Book "All About Everything", UK, 2005)
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Happiness divided by two is multiplied. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Marriage is the dark side of the honeymoon. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Book "All About Everything", UK, 2005)
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Character is an inhabited habit. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Never consider yourself too big - it's a small world. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Love your mistakes, but don't marry one. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Education is the scientific exchange of ignorance. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* To spend money wisely – first spend it on your wisdom. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Poverty has nothing to lose and lots to find. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Wealth and poverty are separate worlds on the same planet. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* First Law of Law: You can't invent the wheel without bending the rules. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Improvisation ist der verzweifelte Versuch, sich an das Stück zu erinnern. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If anyone needs a bailout it is the dead.
Biff Geezman
I love spending time at home with my family. It's my favorite thing to do besides spending time at home by myself.
Ammon Allred
We are all stars, but some of us are looking in the gutter.
Dan Chilcott
There is more to life than reality
Elise Mckenna
Hope is the quintessential of all human emotions.
Nisreen Motiwalla
I observe, therefore I am.
simon crosby
Ignorance is bliss.
matthew zeiler
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
matthew zeiler
Just remember, if the world didn't suck we would all fall off.
matthew zeiler
Systemise to rationalise.
Phil Evans
Faster faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.
Phil Evans
For generosity, there is no such thing as ingratitude. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Welcome the fool, for in his shadow we appear brighter. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Man creates religion to fight each other, God creates it to win our hearts and minds. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The sharpest wit strikes the target before the shot. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
A little freedom is seductive – it makes eyes at independence. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
To lead others, embody their ideals! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Shallow footprints are soon covered by the dust of time. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Every cudgel is a two-headed stick. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Enlighten the path of others – darkness lights its own way. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
An ethical foreign policy means helping them up after you’ve knocked them down. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Employers prefer to take honest people because honest people don’t take. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Cry until you laugh, and laugh until you die.
Alejandro Aceveda
I reallo love you but i really hate your works.
hank park
Like stew, retorts are always better the next day.
Talkers never find the listeners they desire, listeners always find...
Before offering an opinion consider, at some length, the unique silence of thickly falling snow.
You will disappoint if you deliver excellence when mediocrity was requested.
Do not worry about who owns the cups, worry about who owns the water.
In a world of religious conflict wouldn't a rotating God make more sense.
When something just can not go on any longer, it usually does.
Let the fool lead first.
Democracy is the triumph of the mild prejudices of the many over the extreme prejudices of the few.
Be not the Fox when chickens have been murdered.
A weak friend is more dangerous than a strong enemy.
Observe arrogance in the same silence you would watching a drunk wearing flip-flops walking across a wet marble floor.
What we fear more than anything is that there are no ghosts.
A doubt is just another kind of certainty.
Convince the robot who believes that you are the robot that she is wrong.
Money evaporates, debts condense.
The more hands holding the snake the better.
When all questions have been aswered the one that will remain is, have they?
Jack Gardner
Everyone should get alive and get a life.
Bryan chan
Everyone is somehow sick, even the healthiest ones, because they are sick of getting sick.
Bryan chan
don't ask me, because I don't know why
but it's like that, and that's the way it is.
Run DMC
luc nagel
Everybody lies, but it dosn't matter because no-one listens.
matthew zeiler
The grass is always greener where the fertilizer is spread thickest.
Toad Stool
A friend is somebody who will bail you out of jail at 4am.
A good friend would be in jail with you.
A best friend would help you hide the body so you don't end up in jail.
Toad Stool
On the keyboard of life, always keep a finger on the escape key.
matthew zeiler
when in doubt, go to the theatre with tracy, and the answer will become apparent.
jane evans
"Let's see why we all blindly follow along."
Ken Son
* Improvisation is a desperate attempt to remember the tune. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Toss a coin to make a decision and the outcome will be more interesting than going by the book (as the book is widely known to be a bore).
Margo Mano
feeling is believeing
ian whitaker
free will is not a cage
ian whitaker
Is terrorism inside the United States really from outside, or is it a stage managed production, designed to cause Americans to believe they have no choice but to surrender the Republic and accept the totalitarian rule of a new emperor, or a new Fuhrer?
darrin smith
Real eyes realize real lies
Marc Miller
The time of your life... is your lifetime
Sally Child
ART - A primary aphorism.
Pandora Shallcross
Politics, religion,life. All dead without emotion.
Pandora Shallcross
I,me,you,we - united, though only by personal subjective pronouns?
Pandora Shallcross
the fountain of youth turns ten today
tanushri shukla
Smile.
Even if that means walking on your hands.
Sasha Bideau
Thanks to great singers, music has acquired a human voice. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Don’t seek happiness in life, give life to happiness! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Money isn't everything but neither is it nothing. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
For every shortcut, there's a reason it's not the main road.
Kate Smith
Forget your coins,
I want change!
luc nagel
Sometimes i am determined sometimes i just want to sleep..
savanna puckett
The banks really want to give you money -
as long as you don't really need it.
The less you need the money,
the more the money they give.
Rev. Dr. Knut M. Heim
If YOU don't look after yourself, no-one else will.
Rev. Dr. Knut M. Heim
If you think that Life is a Bitch... Then YOU are the 'PUSSY'
Aylmer Lyngwa
The milk of disappointment: sour hope
Sally Child
Close encounter with the TRUTH gave me the REAL STRENGTH.
Gaurav Mishra
It is better to lose a limb than gain one.
Jennifer Whitehead
Good friends always back you up.
Only the very best of friends will have the guts to tell you when you're being a complete arse.
Emily Hasler
Be watchful of ambition and luxury. They both lay beyond ears grasp & whisper 'you are not enough'.
Ira Webbe
Today begins tomorrow.
Ira Webbe
“All people possesses capacity and knowledge from there world of life and viewpoint even kids.”
Siv Östman
“Dignified societies dignify and welcome every new human!”
Siv Östman
“It is in the meeting between - from inside and from outside insight that real changing interaction becomes possible”
Siv Östman
We are a mixture of good and evil. For some, good balances the evil - for others, evil balances the good. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
P.S.: Happy Christmas to all!
Leonid Sukhorukov
Anyone can be an atheist … God willing. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Happiness is the precious gift of surrounding oneself with happy people. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
It’s hard to swim against the stream – especially the bloodstream! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
For some, religion cures the soul, for others it sickens the mind. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Democracy opens mouths but does not fill them. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The main gift of democracy is the freedom to demand it. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Money is evil… and the less we have the more evil it becomes. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Anaesthetics come in three forms – local, general and national. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The US Congress is the only place a person can get a job for $145,000.00 per year,
live a life of luxury, retire with millions of dollars and with a straight face call it
"public service".
John Rudd
All things cycle-but we can only understand things that cycle quicker than our lifecycle
John Rudd
Avoiding discomfort with political correctness, makes me uncomfortable
John Rudd
I dreamed I died on Mars, in the dream, I am an old woman, looking out the window upon a most foreign of vistas out of my final bed, so far away from the salty seas and blue skies of home...and I laugh to myself in my lonely room.
M Wright
Are you trying to tell me that you never yearned for a little heartbreak?
Meagan Heinloo
There was no tomorrow
jane evans
There is meditation in the mundane
jane evans
The mundane eventually becomes meaningful
jane evans
Fear not having to divide your love. Love multiplies
jane evans
Only you know why you did it
jane evans
Your only worthy competitor is yourself
jane evans
"I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife, while muting the television.
Andy Graham
If being "cool" is really being yourself, then what's a geek?
Jayson Albano
There is no such thing as normal. Only stereotypical and generic.
Jayson Albano
We have used our sexual liberation to enslave ourselves to sex.
Brian Stanley
I would go as far as setting myself on fire just to be your beacon of light.
Jayson Albano
An epiphany is a whim that sticks.
Brian Stanley
The shortest day of the year is happily the widest aperture to infinity - night merging seamlessly with the infinite - the most night of the year our gift on the shortest day.
Tom Luke
The pursuit of happiness is doomed to fail, not because no one can be happy, but because no one can be happy by trying to be. Each new land that Alexander the Great conquered, instead of satisfying him, merely widened the circumference of his desires. Meanwhile in Macedon, his servants kept the stables, made love to their wives, and never dreamt of Persia's riches. Happiness is the pursuit of nothing.
more aphorisms and paradoxes at www.brianjaystanley.com
Brian Stanley
* Modesty is the shortest route to obscurity. But once famous, you can afford to become modest. - English
* A modestía é o caminho mais curto até a escuridão. Mas com fama, temos o luxo de ser modestos. – Portuguese
* Хоть скромность и кратчайший путь в неизвестность, зато, получив известность, можно позволить себе любую скромность. - Russian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Modesty is the shortest route to obscurity. But once famous, you can afford to become modest. - English
* A modestía é o caminho mais curto até a escuridão. Mas com fama, temos o luxo de ser modestos. – Portuguese
* Хоть скромность и кратчайший путь в неизвестность, зато, получив известность, моржно позволить себе любую скромность. - Russian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* You can lock the door on talent but time will find the key. - English
* Рuoi tenere il talento sotto chiave. Ma il tempo, la chiave, la troverà. – Italian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Life is not a laughing matter ... but can you imagine having to live without laughing? (In Reader's Digest, 4, 1998) - English
* Az élet csöppet sem nevetséges - de el tudják képzelni, milyen lenne, ha nevetés nélkül kellene élni? (In Reader’s Digest) - Hungarian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Un aforism este un roman de un rând. – Romanian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* An aphorism is a one-line novel. - English
* Um aforismo é um romance de uma linha. - Portuguese
* Афоризм - это роман в одну строку. - Russian
* Un aforismo es un novela de una liña. – Spanish
* En aforism är en roman av en rad - Swedish
* Афоризм - це роман в один рядок. - Ukrainian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
* Un aforism este un roman de un rând.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* In life, everything is relative — except Einstein’s theory! - English
* ในชีวิตทุกสิ่งทุกอย่างสัมพันธ์กัน ยกเว้นทฤษฎีของไอสไตน์ - Thai
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* First Law of Philosophy: The deeper you think, the deeper you sink. -English
* První právo filozofie: Hlouběji my myslíme, hlouběji my klesáme. - Czech
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* We all have equal rights but different blessings. – English
* Todos têm direitos iguais mas com benções differentes. - Portuguese
* Todos tienen derechos iguales pero con bendiciones diferentes. - Spanish
* Vi har alla samma rättigheter men med olika välsignelser. - Swedish
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* War brings peace, but only to its victims. - English
* A Guerra traz paz, mas só para as suas vítimas. - Portuguese
* La Guerra trae paz pero solo para sus victimas. - Spanish
* Krig framkallar fred men bara till sina offer. – Swedish
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* It is never too late to study, but it may be too late to learn.
* Nunca é tarde demais para estudar, mas poderá ser tarde demais para aprender. - Portuguese
* Nunca es demasiado tarde para estudiar, pero podera ser demasiado tarde para aprender. - Spanish
* Det är aldrig för sent att studera, men det kan vara för sent for at lära sig. – Swedish
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* No matter how long you teach a fool, he still knows everything. - English
* Não importa quanto tempo tu enisnas um tolo, ele continua a saber tudo. – Portuguese
* No importa cuanto tiempo tu enseñas a un tonto, el continua a saber todo. – Spanish
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Intuition without reason leads only to true opinion, not truth itself
Tracy Howard
O nada também transborda de vazio.
João Serenus
O cachorro vigia o silêncio como o jardineiro vigia o jardim.
João Serenus
Fear makes the wolf look bigger.
Holly Stardust
Do we build wall's to keep people in or to keep them out?
Rose Rockabella
When someone says "I love you" substitute "I'm curious".
Biff Geezman
America is alchemy for turning greed into virtue. It gives us optimism.
Biff Geezman
Sex without love is an empty experience,
but as empty experiences go it's one of the best!
Richard Hunston
Nothing is impossible...Only the thought of something being impossible should never be possible.
Pixie Stardust
Holly Stardust
Don't expect the unexpected.
Pixie Stardust
Holly Stardust
Together
More than one, less than two.
Bereft
Now feels less than one.
After Danny Abse
Robert MacGibbon
When we run away from each other we forget that the world is round.
Raphael Kamp
Only the dying know life. Only the dead know truth.
N. M.
We spend the first half our lives acquiring addictions ,and the second half trying to quit them.
Howard Kaye
Life until Death! Unless Death comes first.
Aleksandar Ratkovic
Powerless anger is the strongest. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Even alone in this world, we can still be at one with the Universe. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
To lay golden eggs, peck on the grains of truth. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Natural philosophy: the rosy dreams of a blue planet. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Big money may stink – but what a heady fragrance! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
All mortals are hostages of eternity. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
World politics is a game of cards played with maps. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Spiritual bonds are immune to the power of distance. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Every one of us is a genius, but not necessarily in the right epoch. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The best advice fares worst in the ears of the author
infinite livez
If we were as clever as we think we are, we would know that we are not.
Michael Quinnen
Live the life in front of you.
Pamela Barclay
When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.
Spencer Harrison
It ain't no fun, if the hoomies can have non.
Jilt Meeder
Make Change.
Do Change.
Change with a capital OK!
Jeremy Hofmsister Mac Lynn
The difference between
'Try' and 'Triumph'
is a little 'Umph'.
Chris Tully
If trees could talk, would they tell happy stories or sad stories?
Anthony Schneider
ALWAYS judge a book by its cover
Alexander Langlands
The school for life by copying the ideas of the Oxford muse has given the highest form of flattery^^
Graeme Outerbridge
I've come a long way; from now to Now...
Ioannis Christodoulou
don't worry
whatever happens
happens mostly
without you.
sophie springer
WANTING EVERYTHING TAKES TIME.
sophie springer
Salt and pepper are nothing alike, yet they work well together. Food for thought.
David V
Follow your heart, you will need your head if it all goes wrong!
Lisa Rogers
Whenever Whatever
Shakira Argetina
A real question is one that works on you, day in, day out and simply won't let go (until you do).
Andy Bell
you don't have to go to the other side to get greener grass
richard watkins
The meaning of life is to experience being alive.
David McMurtrie
Don't be stupid. Risk it all.
Bas Weers
Better 3 bugs flying, then 1 fly bugging!
El bugho Bonfire
Simon says, 'see 'm on'
El Bucho
I've been watching paint dry for years, now it's time to wallpaper over it.
Richard Slade
Never losing means you played too safe; never winning means you should change your game.
Alice Raine
"It's just an expression" is just an expression.
Matthew Dekneef
My life is full of plot holes.
Matthew Dekneef
You don't have to do all that can be done, just all that you can do.
Andrew Webb
Don't worry about life, you're not going to survive it anyway.
Marc Cinq-Mars
Rarely does a missed deadline result in a death.
Keir Bosley
The quoting of an aphorism, like the barking of a large dog, rarely indicates that something good is about to happen.
-- Lemony Snicket
Jordan Durham
The brightest lazy person fails where the dimmest ambitious person succeeds.
Josiah Perez
PAIN is WEAKNESS leaving the body!!!!!!
Mickey English
Do you live your dream or dream to live?
Mickey English
if batman were a bird, he would be birdman.
paige smith
Don't you know that life becomes so miserable when you're dead?
Jeremy Frenette
I think the rule of finders keepers should be true only to friendship. If you find a friendship, keep it.
Jeremy Frenette
I think the rule of finders keepers should be true only to friendship. If you find a friendship, keep it.
Jeremy Frenette
Experience your pain, appreciate your ecstasy.
Elliott Chevin
I hope for nothing, I fear nothing, I am free
Nikos Kazantzakis
Theodoros Karapateas
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, glass of red wine in the other, body thoroughly used up and totally worn out while screaming "WOO HOO! What a ride!"
Dan van Dan
Everyday I find a reason why people who have commited suicide are probably wiser than those who haven't.
David Salas
Life is not like a penis. Life is always hard.
E Oren
When you do nothing, nothing gets done.
Steph B
Trust everyone once
Ian Gilbert
Nothing does not exist. Nothing is simply the absence of something.
Ariel Alexander
Life is a side effect of existence so don't take it too seriously - side effects vanish in time, you know.
Aleksandar Hitrov
A just Creator would not require you to think of him. He'd merely require you to think.
Asmundur Helguson
Because autodidacts have the great fortune of being able to grade themselves they do not suffer for their sloppy study habits. Those who listen to them do.
Ammon Allred
I wasn't sure I had an aphorism to contribute until I looked up what it meant.
matt jones
The day I beat my alarm clock is the day I die in my sleep.
Ben Penn
This sentence is just that.
Pee Mack
EVERYTHING MORE OR LESS TASTES LIKE CHICKEN
David McMurtrie
Wisdom is not what you know, but seeing what others know.
David V
Terorism is frustrated tyranny
Reginald Oliver
I wish i was where i was when i was wishing i was here.
Jonathon Owens
the truth is each one has its own.
the lie is each one.
Bernardo Macedo
I would lose half of my emotional life if I didn't have guilt.
Barry Johnson
When someone asks 'what do you do?', I get confused. I have not lasted in any job long enough to know what I do.
Umanga Pandey
Words are cheap and poets are cursed with poverty.
Umanga Pandey
I am like a pea in a colander looking for a way out.
Pauline Hill
Expect the worst and you'll never be disappointed.
Paula Dunlop
The glass isn't half empty. It's not half-full either. It's leaking.
Mehdi Musawi
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth is the dream of transplant surgery.
Jack Benlow
I love being alive. It's just comforting to know that suicide is an option.
Dan Poulton
Simple isn't easy.
Nick Fell
I am the world's foremost expert at only one thing - being me.
Terri Blake
Once in a while you gotta burn down your house, keep your dreaming alive. Once in a while you gotta burn your lips, keep your feelings alive.
Lily Java
Lily Java
Do not forget freedom is not on your to-do list
Arjen Noordhof
The Scottish are well balanced, chips on both shoulders.
A non
Pi is completly pointless, a circle has no verticies.
Adrian Tompkins
Take my wife. No really, take my wife.
Jackie mason
the only way we can be patient with someone is to realize that they're worth it.
london gabanna
An erection is an honesty meter
Biff Geezman
Is the water that misses you in the shower wasted?
Jack Gardner
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give a man a fishing rod and he will starve.
Jack Gardner
Denial works better in wide open spaces
Max Porter
I'm just an empty canvas, eager to be painted.
Jessica Young
I tried to imagine the absolute nothingness.I got absolutly nothing.
Nicoleta Pynn,Toronto,Canada
Nicoleta Pynn
1. Take two opposites, connect the dots, and you have a straight line.
2. Truth can be like a large, bothersome fly - brush it away and it returns buzzing.
3. In life, as in love, graceful leave-taking is the epitome of gratitude.
4. Pleasure may be snatched from life’s clenched fists, not joy.
5. The small spirit is quick to misperceive an insult, the large spirit slow to receive a compliment.
6. Like cars in an amusement park, our direction is often determined through collisions.
7. To be treated with mercy, some must reveal their handicaps, while others must conceal them.
8. Time heals old wounds only because there are new wounds to attend to.
9. Things are at their most comfortable, before they collapse – be they armchairs or relationships.
10. With enigmatic clarity, Life gives us a different answer each time we ask her the same question.
Yahia Lababidi
I tried to imagine the absolute nothingness.I got nothing.
Nicoleta Pynn,Toronto,Canada
Nicoleta Pynn
How could I live in the moment?The moment a second from the future enters our lives becomes the past.
Nicoleta Pynn,Toronto,Canada
Nicoleta Pynn
It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.
c/o Upton Sinclair
Elliott Cooper
Maybe tomorrow
Nick Eagleton
You can't threaten me with Heaven.
William Barden
As with mariners shipwrecked near a coast, it would have been better for the bad swimmers if they had not been able to swim at all and had stuck to the wreck.
Origin of Species, Chapter V
charles darwin
There is complicity in inaction.
n e
Sometimes
getting lost
is part of finding your way
janita thiele
People are less complicated than they think they are. They are also more complicated than we think they are.
Ainara Del Valle
Why should I now what I´m doing here? I´m doing nothing anyway.
Julyana Weksler
A bus station is where a bus stops, a train station is where a train stops. On
my desk I have a work station...
Steve Young
All generalizations are stupid, including this one.
Julyana Weksler
It's not the only thing we have to fear is fear itself : it's the only thing we have to fear is fear ourselves.
Phil Tschirhart
Now is the winter of our dishcloth tent.
Elliott Cooper
UNSETTLE YOUR MIND, AND YOU WILL BE FREE
Paloma Marin
1.Sadly, ambition is not confined to the talented.
2. Tolerance is apt to decrease in relation to experience.
Janice James
It isn't Simple to be Simple
Shachar Pessis
The problem with common sense is that it isn't all that common.
Robert Houghton
Do the right thing; it will gratify those who expect it, and astonish those who don't.
Ray D'Shramp
It's easy to criticize someone when you are a mile away from them, even if you are wearing their shoes!
Dan van Dan
Talent imitates, genius samples.
Faris Yakob
Talent imitates, genius cuts and pastes.
Faris Yakob
Maintain civility, practice tolerance, acquire contentment.
Ray D'Shramp
Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas.
Geoffrey Morton-Haworth
Regardless if your glass is half full or half empty, you still have half a glass to go.
Ray D'Shramp
never look down on another, unless you are offering your hand to help him up
Ann Lawrence
Good and bad are just words, feeling is everything.
Christopher Trano
The present is the history of the future.
G Hawke
Oh what a tangled sweater we knit when at first we practice to never try try again.
-Kelly Bundy
Heywood Jablowme
we are [for one another] an innumerable mass of atlases; our charge to piece together fragments of truth and heap the weight of humanity upon our shoulders.
rayshauna gray
We don't need to spread the wealth. We nned to spread the effort.
Troy Yap
Some of us are Astronauts, some are Astronomers. And some are just Astrologers.
Tobias Revell
(An aphorism that is often spoken in recovery groups, no one really knows who coined it first. However, it expresses a universal truth nonetheless) "Live easy but think first!"
David McMurtrie
If your glass is half empty, you've already had a drink and you've still got half a glass to go.
Dan van Dan
A learning experience is one of those things that say, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.'
(Douglas Adams)
Dan van Dan
Never let the odds keep you from pursuing what in your heart you know you were meant to do.
Ray D'Shramp
Don't use words or time carelessly since neither can be retrieved.
Ray D'Shramp
Hold puppies, kittens and babies every chance you get...
Ray D'Shramp
Always look for trouble;
Then avoid it!
Ray D'Shramp
Always do the right thing, simply because it's the right thing to do.
Ray D'Shramp
I only know as much as I remember.
Julia Jarvis
Confidence also comes from how much you are committed.
Chloe Ding
Don't let the facts get in the way of the truth.
Rishi Dastidar
Sometimes, looking for trouble is the right thing to do.
Rishi Dastidar
When shit becomes of value, the poor will be born without assholes.
Mark C
Being alive is enough for crazy-making.
Tegan Robinett
I blog, therefore I am
F Silveira
Do or do not.
spencer friend
I have never really completely understood anything.
Ann Lawrence
I speak truth to power whenever I tell myself how handsome I am.
Ammon Allred
One advantage of writing over speech is that it enables us to preserve our thoughts for the sake of future embarrassment.
Michael J. Weber
The only way to defeat life is to enjoy it.
Michael J. Weber
Nothing bungled, nothing ventured.
Michael J. Weber
If discontent did not exist, we would probably be obliged to invent it.
Michael J. Weber
There are many to whom self-knowledge would constitute an identity crisis.
Michael J. Weber
On play depends much of life’s seriousness. Without enjoyment, or a vivid prospect of it for ourselves and those we love, most of us would find life a lot less obviously valuable.
Michael J. Weber
Man cannot live on necessities alone.
Michael J. Weber
He who knows all the answers has obviously misunderstood at least some of the questions.
Michael J. Weber
Life is much too short for hardheaded practicality or steel-trap judgments.
Michael J. Weber
Nothing improves the species so much as wars of religion; the credulous leap to their deaths by the thousands, leaving mostly sceptics to reproduce their kind.
Jordan Brown
The fact that nothing is certain does not imply that anything is possible.
Dan Johnson
There are dog people and cat people. Dog people prefer dogs to cats; cat people prefer cats to people.
Anonymous
Hear everything. Here, everything.
Brandon
A child believes everything he hears, a fool hears everything he believes and a wise man hears everything.
Brandon
One should believe in something to die for, no one should believe in something to kill for.
Brandon
The modern person is confronted with two options: consume dangerous drugs or consume dangerous ideas. The former threatens to destroy their bodies, the later the very society which necessitates the former.
Brandon
The greatest liberty is the power to be merciful toward those who cause you injury.
Brandon
Euphoria can be bought, courage cannot.
Brandon
Materialism is valuing what you do not have and not valuing what you do have.
Brandon
Aphorisms are widely read but often narrowly understood.
Brandon
Philanthropists are misanthropes who wish they weren't.
Ammon Allred
We tell too much, so we think less well.
SDMuzzy
No matter what you believe, One thing unites us all. You are probably wrong.
Bob Churchill
Only through strife does one become stronger. So when you find hell, grab on, and never let go!
Aesielle Ehrhart
Why listen to someone who has never done anything, tell you, that you never can?
Aesielle Ehrhart
The longer I live, the more I realize, that life is nothing but fighting against common sense.
Aesielle Ehrhart
One of man’s greatest mistakes is believing he is worthy of peace. One of man’s greatest failings is fighting for this.
Aesielle Ehrhart
What inspiration is worth waiting around for?
Aesielle Ehrhart
Beware the knowledge you gain!
Aesielle Ehrhart
If not you, then who?
Gail Renard
Definition of "a priori": Empirically uninformed premise that helps one's argument go through, and is therefore said to be "known".
James Grindeland
Definition of "a priori": Empirically uninformed premise that helps one's argument go through, or helps one's problem exist in the first place, so that there can be an entire industry of well-paid people trying to solve it, and is therefore said to be "known".
James Grindeland
Tracking the minds of those brilliant thinkers is great; greater is to find their endless excavations for truth, their war of wisdom where intellectual weaponries played havoc of human evolution. But the greatest to me is the intellectual bravery of questioning every phenomenon.
Palden Gyal
The greatest happiness from* the greatest number: 69.
Justin R. Morris
The greatest happiness for the greatest number: 69.
Justin R. Morris
Theodicy: An omniscient, omnibenevolent God will surely understand why I refuse to believe in Him.
Ammon Allred
Quantum theory tells us that space is infinite, time goes on forever; but you still can't get a plumber when you need one.
Jack Benlow
An aphorist is a bee-keeper who can't spell
Jack Benlow
A religious experience is madness by another name
Jack Benlow
Watching paint dry is exciting compared with the endless boredom of test cricket
Jack Benlow
"One thing is one thing, another thing is another thing."anonm
Paulo Cesar
IT IS EASIER TO HATE THEN LOVE.
Kris HAYWARD
Women are good from far but far from good
Joessp Alonzo
Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to park right next to it.
(David Lee Roth)
Jess Houghton
Be good, but if you can't be good, be bad, but be really good at it.
Jess Houghton
We're all drivers on the economy bus. Whaddya say we go somewhere nice?
Bill Frederick
It is hard to capture the spirits of people using the limited capacity of language. They are forces whose energy both breeze by and settle in.
Tegan Robinett
i want to be unflummoxed. that's why i'm going to college.
Tegan Robinett
Woman have three choices: Dante, Don Juan or Don Quiote
Biff Geezman
The quickest way to ruin a relationship is to start one.
Kristen Chang
If you don't want the answer, don't ask the question!
Andy Snitker
There is always something unknown in our life. Will you allow this X exist, or are you going to keep calculating the value of this X through your life?
Chloe Ding
While it is true that you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar, if your goal is simply to catch flies - try shit.
Flongo Rantuzzi
I may be perverted, but I am NOT a pervert.
Peter Milligan
its not a matter of greener grass.. its how good is the lawn mower. shh
stace hayworth
Why do I have so much laundry when I have absolutely nothing to wear?
niccy gotch
Jesus loves you; everyone else thinks you are an asshole.
Homer Simpson
Every man is an island. Luckily, we thrive for Pangaea.
Paulo Filipe
you know those sweatshirts with the cuff neck that zips? guys can NEVER go wrong with that.
wait, maybe they can.
Tegan Robinett
When men argue with women they have two choices....To be right OR to be happy.
Jenn Noneyourbiz
Humans are like snowflakes. Too small to tell apart and they don't last long.
M. Duncan
Humans are like snowflakes. Too small to tell apart and they don't last long.
M. Duncan
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Stephanie Zweig
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Stephanie Zweig
i've taken quite enough, thank you God
Tegan Robinett
It is better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission.
M. Duncan
This one time I ate a can of Hormel tamales. It sucked.
Twenty Nine
Whatever makes your chickens cluck.
Marwan Itani
You have to let go of everything to see how to hold tight to the things that matters
Christoph Wong
No surprise, it's unsurprising.
Alexander Choat
If all you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail.
Jason Handby
just because we are the same person, it doesn't mean that we are the same person.
Tegan Robinett
You know, in times like these, drugs sound really good.
Zoe Lance
Necessity is a mother.
Ken Gleason
There is no such thing as you or me. There's no such thing as nothing.
Lauren Ruben
Everything is the same, even if it's different.
Lauren Ruben
Everything is the same, even if it's different.
Lauren Ruben
How am I not myself?
Lauren Ruben
If one is the loneliest number, then zero must be the luckiest; nothing can be luckier than nothing.
Jenna Gotthelf
Love. It's worth more than all the money in the world, and yet it can come crashing down like an avalanche.
Piper Matlock
Life should be lived as desinterestingly as possible, so that death arrives as a good thing.
Ricardo Luis
The real difference between living alone and living with others is that when you live with other people and you want a banana, you chose the banana at the most perfect ripeness. When you live alone, you just choose the ripest banana.
Andy Maag
The real difference between living alone and living with others is that when you live with other people and you want a banana, you chose the banana at the most perfect ripeness. When you live alone, you just chose the ripest banana.
Andy Maag
Best revenge is a happy life.
rosen zhelev
Best revenge is a happy life.
rosen zhelev
Wasted time is like dried clay: useless and impenetrable.
Lindsay Stern
Love is often the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Nadia Wasabi
love is an ABILITY
heartache is an EMOTION
Deon Wilson
Emotions are
when “fragileness” in life is every days existence
Siv Östman
When souls converse, words fall silent.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV
Leonid Sukhorukov
When souls converse, words fall silent.
Leonid S. SUYKHORUKOV
Leonid Sukhorukov
In the war between good and evil, the only winner is war itself.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV
Leonid Sukhorukov
Before you bet on who will beat who, first find out who’s backing who!
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Each life is a momentary flash in the crucible of Eternity.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
A subtle aphorism needs erudition not explanation.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Nothing in nature disappears without trace, except the natural environment.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
There are two species of mankind: homo giviens and homo takiens.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Give a flea a horseshoe and it will think itself a horse.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
To enter Paradise, avoid it in life.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Anything is funny if you laugh at it.
libby s.
Feeling guilty
After eating ice cream is
Rediculous
Madison Bassett
Don't try to do things, do try them!
manos chatzikonstantis
Don't try to do things, do try them!
manos chatzikonstantis
The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as of the greatest virtues.
-René Descartes
Topher Fulton
Do what makes you happy and figure out a way to make money doing it.
Will Price
Ideas are funny things; they don't work if you don't.
Mik Peters
Sometimes I think to myself, I would be better off dead, then I see your beautiful face. I guess I'll stay alive for a little longer
Nicole St. Hilaire
I am, first and foremost, to my dismay, due to circumstances and internal chemistry with which I am completely unfamiliar, an idealist.
Bailey Hutchinson
If you want to hold a house meeting in the kitchen try pissing in the sink
Jack Gardner
Snowboarding is more important than food, that is why snowboarders are skinny.
Nigel Storey
That's it. I'm not tying my shoes any more. Just don't have the time.
horatio salt
Love ALL your neighbours. Especially the girl next-door...
Coco Olver
Remember: Everything and everyone around you is made from the same stuff you are.
Anna Waters
I know too little of far too much.
But I feel more than ever.
I know too much of far too little.
And I'm certain of nearly nothing.
Steven Stringer
Nothing is beyond figuring out.
Steven Stringer
Time is a great healer. Don't call an ambulance, ring the speaking clock.
Simon Fraser
Tradition is habit on a pedestal.
Stuart Candy
Life is too short to wait for the green light.
Sasha Vidakovic
Bad men die like good men live, begging for forgiveness.
Brian Kupillas
if your nose is running, catch it before it leaves you.
Lawson Vaughn
poetry is an emotional cop out, and it's all i've written for the past five years
Bailey Hutchinson
No pain, no pain
La Mandita
Life is like Sex: Sometimes it is the best thing ever, and sometimes it just goes too fast
Bengali Bangali
We are our thoughts, to think about who you would be or who you wouldn’t be, will result in who you are.
Doug G
Life is unkind, unfair and probably unnecessary
Robert Cox
These are things I know: hope floats, love conquers, and truth is perceived, never known.
Cait Clutter
Life is a dream, then you wake up.
Manny Hovanesian
For pessimists, every cloud has a silver lining: even when the worst happens, they can always say "I told you so"
Ruth Lang
Never trust a ponytail
Daniel Silburn
I am not a Robot
Baloney Face
Life is a lot like a car. You get in, THEN YOU FUCKIN DIE!
Baloney Face
Aphorisms should never involve cars.
Baloney Face
Happiness or joy or twatever you call it is like a woman's orgasm it can never be attained it can only ensue. Scuze me I have to get back to work.
Baloney Face
Seeming isn't being . . .,wanting isn't doing.
rh bee
I am here. You are here. It is now. The rest is speculation.
Wayne Wightman
Once you learn that life is a dream, you wake up to reality.
Jack Arouchian
An open mind still has a door.
Rob Stradling
Nothing is "perfect". Because if something was "perfect" it would have one flaw, that it does not have any flaws.
Aamir Laique
Hindsight is only useful once we invent time machines.
Ming Y.
It's all terribly important, and none of it is.
Ashley Kramer
A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single click.
Ryan Gobbe
If you can't dazzel `em with cash,
baffel `em with loose change
Sean Delgado
If you ain't dancing yo blocking
Yo Hop we Drop
Yo Ho Ho
Jaffa Wilson
I did the things i needed to do, when things get to hard to do, yo should to.
Rune Reinli
All aphorisms go into my own personal 'Aphorism Thunderdome' Two aphorisms enter, one aphorism leaves. Thus, through this crucible of fire, you end up with the answer to pretty much everything.
Robin Scott
Seeing through a new pair of glasses won't change your mind, but seeing through new eyes will.
Dragus Adrian
"Take a walk in his/her shoes..." -- I'd rather not walk in someone else's shoes when I can barely do so in mine, thanks.
chriss pham
“be the worst you can” is some advice to give people about yourself
Joao Coelho
Sanırım lirik sözcüğü en çok yüzüne yakışıyordu
Yüzündeki kuşkun kedere, gür kirpiklerinin altından
Kısık lambalar gibi ışıyan gözlerine
Çerçevesine sığmayan
Munis, sokulgan, hüzünlü resimlerine
Lirik sözcüğü en çok yüzüne yakışıyordu.
your circassian prince
Goodbye Bush: no more playing air guitar with my sanity
Biff Geezman
People are silly, they all take life so seriously; when none of it is permanent.
karson kaylee
Life is a research project... the trick is to get it funded.
Punya Mishra
arrogance is seldom else but veiled insecurity
chris carrassi
The meaning of life is the meaning in life.
Daniel Weir
The answer to all questions in married life -
"To please you".
gwyn williams
Nothing can be proven ultimately because everything is based on at least one assumption.
Lily Manganiello
I work all day and I chase my woman
Why don't she chase me sometime?
Everybody wants to be wanted
I mean I ain't no scarecrow cop
(from a John Prine song)
savanna puckett
If you were the water I would set myself on fire.
Colby Wallis
some people have called me smart. Some people have called me an ass. Most people have called me a smart ass.
savanna puckett
If you come with me, can I go too?
Sandra Collins
life is like lotto, if you play you can win.
r4mcst3r lopez
It isn't Simple to be Simple!
Shachar Pessis
For generosity, there is no such thing as ingratitude.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV
Leonid Sukhorukov
Love can dwell in the simplest shack, especially if you own the forest.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV
Leonid Sukhorukov
Welcome the fool, for in his shadow we appear brighter.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV
Leonid Sukhorukov
It’s dangerous to beat your chest if you have a heart of stone.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV
Leonid Sukhorukov
Some marriages give bachelors a master's degree.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV
Leonid Sukhorukov
When you teach a man you teach a person - when you teach a woman you learn a lesson.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV (Book "all About Everything", UK, 2005)
Leonid Sukhorukov
aphorisms personify hollowed out, abandoned tree trunks. majestic on the outside and full of shit on the inside.
Flavis Bones
when you reach the inevitability of failure, you realize that it might, or might not, outweigh the prospect of success. but this, my friend, is for you to decide.
Flavis Bones
If you aren't looking for you, you must be looking at you, and if you look at you, well...you just look.
Flavis Bones
All aphorisms drip with irritating certainty.
Wes Dunham
"Alcohol: That which renders any attempt at being polysyllabic all but impossible."
"Alcohol: The aqua vitriol of life."
"Bacchus: The Greek god of drunken football chants."
Bren Tierney
If I could take back anything in my life, I would probably take back writing this aphorism as it will undoubtedly cause me to reevaluate everything I have done, do, and will do.
Sunny Hashmi
Pain is vivid. Joy is blinding. In between is the bland haze we wander through for the vast majority of our lives.
Matt Gonzales
If something is impossible just think about it more.
John X
IL NE FAUT PAS PERDRE SA VIE A LA GAGNER
gadhoumi Mrad
If size didn't matter it wouldn't be in question.
m crooks
If there were universals, all would see them.
m crooks
Sincerity is everything.
If you can fake that, the rest is easy.
Ceylan Pojon