All Aphorisms

A list of all aphorisms, newest appear at the top.

To make a quick dash, just press-0–0-0-00—0--0—00-0–0 swiftly, Rythemically, repeatedly, with your two forefingers—and a dash will somehow miraculously appear; as it’s much easier that way…after all is said and done.

Robby the Robot

I will not fake myself through life.
Bart Simpson

Joe Cool

How is failure possible? We're always just beginning to live.

marty rubin

All these people at international airports must really think they’re going somewhere – and they are.

The One-Eyed Batman & The Porcupine

If you listen to that little devil on your shoulder for too long, sooner or later he’ll just piss in your ear.

Damon Daemon

20 STRONG, SURE-FOOTED OFFSRPING OF SHADOWFAX
COULD NOT HAVE PULLED ME AWAY FROM THE EMPTY SOUL
I WAS LEFT WITH AFTER JUST NODDING AND GOING ALONG WITH
WHATEVER THEY SAID.

E Muzko

The only thing a man has is his balls and his honour; and it’s what he does with them that make them bounce!

Anonymus Anonymous

If only to improve one’s point of view aphorisms are quite nice to do occasionally, but anyone who goes at it all the time is probably quite barmy...

Drew Byrne

Who amongst us dares to un-mask the Masked Aphorist? Especially the one who dwells so furtively in one’s own heart?

Masked Aphorist

This life is full of bullshit, and it just piles up over time.

Swami Raj

Still waters run deep, if thickos never paddle in it.

Swami Raj

Just running down, boys and girls, just running down...to Elysium.

Old Nob of the Mountain

Da death dat goes da bong da gong, is da death dat goes da bong youz!

Bob Jamaika

An expert is someone who will make the same mistake the next time.

marty rubin

Only the especially qualified can put things back together; recreate the mystery.

Ben Wilkinson

All warfare is based on deception.
Sun Tzu

Joe Cool

Life: what a marvellous absurdity.

Daniel Desbiens,(1954- )

Nathalie Tremblay

A temporary double death in front of the mirror: You close your eyes, and both of you vanish.

Firimita Florin

The pessimists are right. But it does them no good to be right.

marty rubin

Optimism: belief that everything will work out well. Irrational, bordering on insane.
K9

Joe Cool

Avoid thinking of yourself as ordinary; despite being almost certainly true it’s almost always certainly a mistake.

Drew Byrne

Sad songs are such a joy to sing.

marty rubin

If your dick starts hurting...then you’ve probably had enough.

Swami Raj

An atheist would be quite unhappy to wake up in Heaven after a quick nap, but luckily that isn’t going to happen too often, unless they change the door policy.

Damon Daemon

There are more loonies outside the asylums than in, but they all think they’re normal.

Bill Smith

Ah, stupidity gets you done—the easy way––as it’s not that difficult a task.

Bill Smith

Man is everything I hate about Man.

Stephanie Gordon

You shouldn’t listen to the little devil on your shoulder who says it’s too late to do anything worthwhile anymore, even though the little bastard might be right.

Drew Byrne

The best revenge is a happy life.

Rosen Zhelev

You’re walking, talking, feeling fine; given health, there’s nothing better than money.

Swami Raj

You’ve got to understand men, they’re like the wind: a force of Nature!

Swami Raj

A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.

Gian Vincenzo Gravina

Scotchmen are well-balanced individuals – they’ve got chips on both shoulders.

English Ted

Altruist: a person who likes to help people more than they like to be helped.

marty rubin

GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME.

carmen rüter

A stitch in time saves needless procedures later.

jimmy mc allister

A stitch in times saves needless procedures later.

jimmy mc allister

You'll get nowhere fast just standing there.

jimmy mc allister

I got rid of my juggler: I couldn't afford the upkeep.

jimmy mc allister

Verbal onanism is a quick one aphorist.

jimmy mc allister

That is the question?

jimmy mc allister

It is easier to pass a needle through the eye of a rich man than to stay on a camel.

jimmy mc allister

It is easier to pass a needle through the eye of a rich man that to stay on a camel.

jimmy mc allister

He who lasts longest laughs last.

jimmy mc allister

If you clap your hands you're happy and you know it.

jimmy mc allister

Too many cooks spoil the telly.

jimmy mc allister

A turd in the hand is worse threw in the bush.

jimmy mc allister

Plastic surgery leaves a lot to be desired.

jimmy mc allister

On your deathbed you shall receive total enlightenment.

Jack Thade

Anyone can fly, all you have to do is throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Johan Jeansson

If the plumbing were that bad in Heaven, there’d have been a revolution there by now!

Damon Daemon

Taking or giving; it all goes around anyway.

Johan Jeansson

A man's "got" to know his laminations!

Bobby Builder

A man's GOT to know his limitatins.

Swami Raj

Strength is being able to put the boot in, because you can.

Bill Smith

Humour: that curiously inbuilt response which enables you to avoid hitting your neighbour with a crow bar.

Bill Smith

Death always has the last word, and that word is: “Pickle!”

Jack Thade

Death is the ugliest of all dancers, nevertheless she always gets the last dance.

LAURENT APICELLA

We waste this life dreaming of another.

marty rubin

With either respect or a lack of respect, it’s still a matter of respecting boundaries.

Masked Aphorist

Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without you consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt.

Joe Cool

Don't look too far ahead or you'll miss a lot.

marty rubin

To survive the tests is the best way to prove oneself.

Daniel Desbiens

Don’t walk with your head down; you don’t have to apologise for being a human being.

Swami Raj

People just carry on – I just don’t understand it!

Swami Raj

Money and luck run fastest together, but when the money runs out the luck went off first.

Swami Raj

Words are the best bargain. You get them for free, and they never run out.

marty rubin

In his heady desire to be optimistic rather than pessimistic an optimist forgets one thing: if a pessimist could be as optimistic as an optimist likes to be, he would be – gladly.

Max Ploughman

If you’re ambitious you want to get there – that’s the whole point!

Swami Raj

If you’re strong you may survive. One good thing is to keep on trying.

Swami Raj

If life has no meaning, it's not necessary to invent one.

marty rubin

Our little life is monkey-magic in a monkey-puzzle tree.

Drew Byrne

What you choose, is what you are!

Max Ploughman

Determination: something with bells on that you pull to make it jingle for you.

Max Ploughman

Comedy is being able to laugh at tragedy.

Conte De Quelquechose

After wisdom comes wit.

Evan Esar

Wise, are you?
Wise, you are?
Oh, no,
You’re not!

Ol’ Bill Moody

I am so wise,
So wise,
So, so wise;
I am,
Yes, I am:
So, so wise;
Oh,
Yes, I am!

The Wise Man

The wise know that the polestar of prudence lies in adapting themselves to the occasion.
Gracián

Joe Cool

Time spent explaining things is better spent enjoying them.

marty rubin

If it all goes awry – pull yourself together!

Swami Raj

The first thing you must comprehend here is a smack in the chops!

Swami Raj

…and we will never know why they put so much sauce in them…

Swami Raj

Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of travelling.

Margaret Lee Runbeck

* Nothing makes us hate the wisdom of others more than our lack of it. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

What’s the last thing you were mindful of? Now, try and remember what it was twelve minutes from…“now!”

Mr. Tempus Fugit

Look for your wisdom where you can find it; after all, it can’t be found anywhere else any more obvious.

Buddy Blank

Optimists think badly, but live well.

marty rubin

An optimist is one who makes the best of it when he gets the worst of it.

Anonymus Anonymous

An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?

Michel de Saint-Pierre

if you're looking for a helping hand, try looking on the end of your arm.

Anonymus Anonymous

A man needs a god to criticise occasionally.

Drew Byrne

Prudence, forethought, and consideration; three wise words found lying on the path to the Magic Mountain.

Jonny Chuckles

Eschew Obfuscation! Espouse Elucidation!

The Big Easy

Is it possible that a man who drinks until he’s drunk, drinks because he likes himself better sober? We may never know, because he’ll more than likely forget all about it in the morning!

Jojo Juju

No, you are not important – that’s the first game rule!

Swami Raj

If you’ve got something to offer – keep your mouth shut!

Swami Raj

One does what one can, not what one can’t.

Abigail Mitchell

* Brevity may be the soul of wit, but it can also be a mercy. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Today when the pot calls the kettle black, it's meant as a compliment.

marty rubin

Brevity is power.

Josh Billings

Wherever it’s from, money never stinks; but whatever it does, it still takes the piss!

Anonymus Anonymous

Sudden death leaves an impression on you.

Anonymus Anonymous

Luck is a very ancient concept, might even be Greek – check it out!

Swami Raj

Sarcasm is less the lowest form of wit and more a testament to the colossal effort of maintaining constant pessimism.

Ben Wilkinson

The most useful instance of prejudice is one not only backed up by facts, but with belief as well.

Damon Daemon

As if people didn’t stab each other in the back because they didn’t enjoy it!

Damon Daemon

There are those who theorize, and those who act – two different people!

Swami Raj

With some people you can only lose, they’re not worth getting what they have.

Swami Raj

With most people the truth is that they have no romance with life, if you have that you’ll be alright.

Swami Raj

Specialize, prioritise, economise: three mighty bridges over the great gulph of adversity.

Jonny Chuckles

An educated fool is more foolish than an ignorant one...
Molière

Joe Cool

What you don’t need you certainly won’t miss when you don’t notice you don’t have it.

Drew Byrne

The less is more, more or less.

Drew Byrne

Between thoughts, travel far and wide.

marty rubin

Putting your boots in the oven doesn't make them biscuits.

David Houghton

Minger: Nice personality but ’as a face like a rotweiller’s arse.

Ali G

Cheeky little lady: A woman who looks like they’ve just been boned.

Ali G

Honesty is for the "birds", as in "nerds!"

Damon Daemon

Never put off doing till tomorrow what you can put off doing today.

Anonymus Anonymous

If you don’t know quite what to do with something, you’d better try to sell it.

Swami Raj

You’re already in jeopardy – if only because you have no bickies for the cup!

Swami Raj

To me, this is this and that’s that and that’s it!

Swami Raj

* Don't assume all bread will make a sandwich. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Dogs bark, but the caravan goes on...

Leonid Sukhorukov

Here’s to all the thickies in the world, it makes life so much more amusing for those sharp enough to make them jump through hoops over it.

Damon Daemon

Oh, pointy, pointy!
Oh, pointy pointed point!
Oh, point!
Oh, pointy-pointy!
Oh, pointy, pointy point!
Oh, point!

Steve Martin

The problem with anonymousity is that it can be looked up on Google, just for the price of a left-click.

Anonymus Anonymous

As a purely temporary physical and mental phenomenon, a man doesn’t even get to run fast enough to catch up with the meaning of his sense of his own purpose...

Buddy Blank

Don't lick bell-end!

Anonymus Anonymous

* Our character is like the captain who is the last to abandon his sinking ship. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* When there is no other way out, we look for another entrance. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Everything is necessarily a form of plagiarism. This is how we justify every project we begin.

Adam Piette

If you’re on the way out, don’t shit on those on the way in.

Jojo Juju

Give a beggar a pound coin and he’ll probably go and buy a can of lager; give a billionaire that same coin and he’s an even bigger beggar, because he’ll probably go and invest it too.

Swami Raj

You have to expect that from people they have no interest in anything except themselves. Of course, if you are useful in some way that can be of interest...

Swami Raj

LESBIANS RULE THE ROOST – OK! AND SOMETIMES THEY DO IT WITH THE RULER!

Millicent Fortesque-Smythe

Better bend for a friend than break like a reed.

Graham Norton

Ignorance of one's ignorance is the greatest ignorance.

Anonymus Anonymous

Today is always the beginning of that "new romantic age": the one that young people look around so hard for.

Jojo Juju

If death is all you're worried about, I'd say you're in the best of health.

marty rubin

If you go looking for enemies then you will find them — the fucking bastards!

Anonymus Anonymous

It’s simple: Insult shall produce ball-kicks, and then that will produce calmness and contentment.

Swami Raj

Figure it all out then reject it, just like the next man. For time will always pass you by.

Swami Raj

You win! – All else is loss! Now that’s direction isn’t it?

Swami Raj

Time is precious, because time is finite.

Swami Raj

Before you speak your mind make sure it's really your mind you're speaking.

marty rubin

The Universe can be a curious place sometimes, occasionally even the Milky Way just reminds me of puke going down a shower’s plughole, especially after a night out with the girls without a meaningful place to go at the weekend.

Sophie Howarth

Life is like a boil on the backside of a brontosaurus, but only the brontosaurus cannot see that.

Monty Don

I think, therefore, I thunk!

Anonymus Anonymous

Anything good or bad lies in your eyes.

Anonymus Anonymous

You may live your life as freely as you like it, but sooner or later you’ll be caught at it.

Drew Byrne

How many truths are really true?

marty rubin

Worldly wisdom: something dirty and demeaning that is always best found hidden away amid the entrails of ignorance and distaste.

Drew Byrne

People come, and people go; which is something you should know.

Anonymus Anonymous

If you are being a “son of a gun”, watch it, it might go off!

Swami Raj

The sharply defined lesson that goes unlearnt by its intended recipient, due to his natural naivety, is also that one aimed at the person who doesn’t see its meaning is directed solely at him, apparently for his own good.

Buddy Blank

* All roads lead to Rome, but some roads to peace lead straight to Pompeii. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

An optimist is a pessimist with experience.

Judy Meath

The sad act of scratching dead philosophy on the wall behind a whorehouse, is always the result of finding out too late that ex-coitus makes you sad!

Monty Don

All things end in unending time.
(Graffito scratched on a wall in Pompeii.)

Anonymus Anonymous

Some clever-clever aphoristic fellows who consider themselves worldly-wise are clearly just being “hoity-toity”, and they know they like it like that too.

Monty Don

You want something axiomatic? Everything you think you know is wrong.

Ben Wilkinson

Tell the truth. It's more disturbing than telling lies.

marty rubin

No matter how wise you may think you are, you can always be as foolish as anyone else can be.

Drew Byrne

Man! this sure is a big pile of aphorisms...and to cap it all, the pointed one just below this has apparently miraculously appeared as the penultimate pinnacle of popularity—just like that!

Monty Don

What we were, you are. What we are, you shall become.
(Tomb inscription, St. Victor, Paris.)

Jack Thade

The companionship of acquaintance is not friendship, as if it was we’d all be somewhat friendlier to strangers without much reason.

Challenged Changeling

* Don't kill the beast in yourself; it may be the only human thing you have left. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

It appears that...Dingbat Alley runs right next to the stately home of Home-Truths.

Monty Don

If you do have any new home truths to impart to the world, you can never be all that original about it.

Drew Byrne

WELCOME TO THE MONKEY-HOUSE!

Oh, Kurt!

Every bird needs her feathered nest.

Anonymus Anonymous

English-chicks love quiet guys, they think they’re listening—cool!

Anonymus Anonymous

No man's success outweighs the sum of his failures.

the judge

The people who enlighten us are the ones who tell us their secrets.

marty rubin

The prick in a box is cooler than any dick in a box.

Monty Don

A man is what he is prepared to do, or he is nothing; however, he can still be a dingbat, despite that.

Drew Byrne

* If you go to bed angry - change the bed. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

The Mundane is to be cherished so that the exemplary can be praised

Tim Kent

Whats cooler than a dick in a box.

Amber Radke

A father is a banker provided by nature.

Anonymus Anonymous

Being "ballsy" with the truth is never enough of the whole truth.

Ms. Holly Golightly

i am balls

Tori Rowland

I've never seen two negatives make a positive yet.

marty rubin

The benefits of suffering are mostly hypothetical.

marty rubin

What you learn about too late to do anything about is always a memorable academic achievement.

Monty Don

Better to counsel realism than foster illusion.

Michael Schmidt.

All generalizations are too general to be specific in detail, excluding this one.

General Bullseye

There are two types of people who sit at the breakfast table: big-endians, and little-endians; you’ve just got to decide which one you want to be.

Masked Aphorist

A wink and a smile does wonders for the sailor on the sea.

Anonymus Anonymous

If you make waves in the desert you will drown in sand.

Anonymus Anonymous

Trust only those who you can trust and don’t make the mistake of trusting those who you cannot trust but look jolly friendly...

Drew Byrne

Sith si esnesnon: gnithyreve si esnesnon: neve I ma esnesnon!

Yzarc Tibbar

Please Note. None of the merchandise on sale here has been produced or endorsed by Banksy (with the exception of this sign).

Fred Arkright

Be careful of how you like to fit in, jug ears!

Polly Perspicacity

Who’s dead today? Not Me! Good!

Jojo Juju

I'm real sorry about this but...ART IS FOR ARSEHOLES!

Drew Byrne

The word "Nothing" is already something.

marty rubin

Real problems always have a solution. The problems that have no solution are those the mind invents.

marty rubin

Never spout the obvious; it’s too precious a commodity to be let loose on the world for nothing.

Drew Byrne

Some people can manage to stay up all night, just so as to avoid going to bed before it gets too dark in the morning.

Jojo Juju

Smart people recognize that there are absolute truths. Wise people recognize that there aren't.

Robert Hoekman, Jr.

Never talk to creeps, lest they find out why they’re creeps.

Swami Raj

This then above all else is true: No matter what weird and wonderful wacky ideas you might hold onto to get you through the day and whatever you do with them, you leave the world exactly as it was when you got here.

Buddy Blank

satisfaction truly comes not in accomplishment, but in beginning a new challenge.

tim hinson

Failing in persistence and endeavour not only gives you the chance of being overlooked for your efforts, but also of being ignored by the successful as well.

Buddy Blank

We're the slaves of our bodies. We don't have to be the slaves of our minds.

marty rubin

People pray for good fortune, not arthritis. But they get arthritis anyway.

marty rubin

Man is the most easily conditioned of all.

Said Saillant

Only those who try to understand life live.

Said Saillant

Reality shapes the mind and the mind shape reality.

Said Saillant

Life has no meaning but that which we give it ourselves.

Said Saillant

You cannot escape your perceptions; you can only extend their reach.

Said Saillant

Talk is jabber, talk is cheap; let’s go do it on the Pieste!

Bonksy Banksy

I'm in training to be the slowest runner in the race.

marty rubin

Laugh, and the world laughs back; don't laugh, and it'll kick your teeth in.

Buddy Blank

Crafty men deal in generalizations...

Anonymus Anonymous

It's a good life, if you don't weaken.

Violet Rosina

Red means run son, numbers add up to nothing.

Swami Raj

Neighbours are people we cannot afford to live further away from.

Sam Pickering

Human contentment, if not true in reality, is a useful contrivance for a bald-faced monkey!

Anonymus Anonymous

When you see a pratt in a Ferrari, you’ll be glad you’re not a pratt.

Monty Don

Some things will change, but this will never change. A little girl on her porch, playing with her dolls and singing.

marty rubin

Some fellows mistake wit for wisdom because they can laugh at it; or at least some fools do.

Monty Don

The thoughts we choose to act upon define us to others, the ones we do not define us to ourselves.

Yahia Lababidi

The beauty of nothing is that it continues.

Anonymus Anonymous

* Go mad wisely. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

When you don't decide, life decides for you.

marty rubin

The future cannot be seen even with the most powerful telescope.

marty rubin

We are disillusioned by illusion, not by reality.

marty rubin

THIS WEB PAGE IS NOW CLOSED TO NEW SUBMISSIONS. PLEASE RESUBMIT YOUR APHORISMS IN NOVEMBER 2009, WHEN THE COMPETITION WILL BEGIN AGAIN.

WEB MASTER

Stupidity occurs naturally enough until you step on it––then it gets everywhere.

Monty Don

Don’t admire too many people too often for too long, you forget their names.

Monty Don

So many words, so little to say.

marty rubin

* Of all people eager to stay on top, he who stands on the edge of a precipice desires it most. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

There are only two directions in life: up or down!

Swami Raj

A touch of insanity now and then makes us all giggle for the occasion.

Joe Cool

The flabby wine-skin of his brain yields to some pathologic strain, and voids from its unstored abysm the driblet of an aphorism.

The Mad Philosopher

All experience is now concrete.

Anatole Broyard.

The Grim Reaper’s got your name in his Fileofax!

Ruth Graves

BILL STICKERS WILL BE PROSECUTED!

The Management

Better to sit alone all day in a dark room than go out and try to change people.

marty rubin

If you push, you will live; that is life, and the cost of life also.

Anonymus Anonymous.

A man is full of hopes, dreams, wishes, and expectations—fuck him!

Millicent Fortesque-Smythe

A long silence never means what it says.

marty rubin

I Try to Take One Day at a Time, but Sometimes Several Days Attack Me at Once.

Ashleigh Brilliant

I am a funky-robot looking for meaning!

Robby the Robot

Life’s mostly full of shit, but thankfully we have beer and skittles to help with the resultant constipation.

Monty Don

No protection for the back four, no protection on the bedroom floor.

Yogi Perks

Don’t feed the monkeys: they like soul-food best.

Monty Don

Nothing is easier than to keep a secret: all you need to do is to shut your mouth.

Anonymus Anonymous

What a pity it is only a fear of failure that most keeps us from failing...

Monty Don

Is it safe? Of course it is!

Ginly B'stard

No matter how depressed you are you still have the power to depress yourself further.

Zoe Wanamaker

No one thinks of the obvious so the obvious is the unknown.

marty rubin

Someone has to pay for a man to support himself, and it always ends up as the man who does it.

Monty Don

Don’t forget, if you need any help, call the fire brigade; they’ll cool you off.

Monty Don

You can save yourself, but words can't save you.

marty rubin

Morris Dancing: common sense in a crazy world!

Swami Raj

There’re different strokes for different folks!

Swami Raj

I have a bad memory. Every day seems new to me.

marty rubin

You are not yourself!

Barbara Kruger

Beware of the next moment: you could remember it for the rest of your life!

Monty Don

There are no angels but there are a myriad of insects blown in the wind.

Thee Weatherman

Well, when I talk sense, at least I know it's nonsense!

Monty Don

* Every age has its cage. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

The fucker you know is worse than the fucker you don’t know…

Swami Raj

The opinionated man who's newly come to the throne says, “Well, if it’s good enough for The Queen…”

Monty Don

Insomniacs exaggerate the pleasures of sleep.

marty rubin

If you marry for love and not for money, you'll have warm nights and cold days.

Swami Raj

Look, I don't expect to die, I expect to live!

Swami Raj

If you keep on turning right at the cross roads of life, you’ll eventually return from whence you came over and over again...ad infinitum and beyond!

Drew Kalm Jr.

We think in a maze and only our actions can set us free.

marty rubin

With people, what you see is what you get: dilettante, superficial. There’s not much more to them.

Swami Raj

* A loose tongue is the easiest way to tie yourself in knots. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Happiness is pleasure without guilt. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Openness is closeted from a darker corner.

Swami Raj

It’s useful to have an opinion, so you can slip it in when nobody’s looking.

Swami Raj

Why doesn't the Frankenstein Monster ever smile on Monday mornings? We may never know!

Frank E. Steinitz

Reality is always easier to face with a little illusion by your side.

marty rubin

Doing is believing.

Monty Don

New life started today…very much like old one, but more of it.

Polly Perspicacity.

Not until the red light stops will they ever let you go...

Swami Raj

Somehow inject meaning where the message had previously been.

Barbara Kruger

The impractical is the unreal until somebody makes it practical.

marty rubin

There is a subtle skill in knowing when to be inept.

marty rubin

By Gimminy! What a load of questionable questions there are that have no reasonably discernable answers…

Masked Aphorist

Dogs that can’t wag their tails get bit, and that’s really not fair, but what is?

Drew Byrne

What does this term well adjusted mean? Does it mean weasels at the top?

Drew Byrne

Why do nothing worthwhile if you can do what you have to do instead?

Drew Byrne

We are all suffering Bipolar Disorder between these two acts: We think/do things good and bad.

Ore Hendive

The worm’s eye view – so often the true one!

Swami Raj

I understand self-reliance: it’s pushy-pushy-pushy all the time – with jam on top!

Swami Raj

Happiness — that state of tabescent bliss unobtainable unless you don’t quite know what it is.

Bremer Caiboes Jr.

What drives you? Is it a Mini or a Thunderbird?

Masked Aphorist

How many changes must take place before we can be satisfied with things as they are?

marty rubin

Sitting in the middle you have to turn your head to sit and read.

Barbara Kruger

Where quietude has gone, there is only noise...

Frank Thunk

Real life is: Input! Input!

Swami Raj

Speak no new truth too loudly and fear the faulty memory of old friends.

John Doe

Don’t always graffito on the wall; but also do it on the piste!

Bonksy Banksy

I aint such a mug as to put up my children to all I know myself.

Alfred Doolittle

Nothink for nothink ’ere, and precious little for sixpence!

Alfred Doolittle

Your philosophy is bounded by mistakes...

Masked Aphorist

Strength and honour!

Maximus Duracellust

The mind cannot foresee its own advance.

Friedrich Hayek

When you know everything, it still doesn’t change anything.

Swami Raj

Contestants are for beauty contests; players just keep on going.

Swami Raj

Between greatness and cheesecake I"ll take cheesecake.

marty rubin

All the wisdom of the world is in your nut: don’t crack it open.

Masked Aphorist

Break the code: just do it!

Diddle Wanger

Being you...is not being me!

Masked Aphorist

* Why is it easier to fire a person who does the work of ten than those ten whose work he does? Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

’Tis – was! And nobody was your friend...

Swami Raj

If you are compressed – push out! No one lives in a box.

Swami Raj

When bits drop off of their own accord, stick them back on with superglue!

Eric Bentley

WHAT GOOD IS A LIE IF YOU CAN’T TELL THE TRUTH SOMETIME?

Jesse Jane Ramirez Jr.

Should I refuse the honey because the bee stings?

marty rubin

Life is a game you lose but once.

Demian LaVigne

Cobblers proliferates profusely, until it’s stepped on––pronto!

Monty Don

An idle thought is caught in amber, until it’s burnt as fuel.

Drew Byrne

an Aphorism is a statement, here's mine..

WA ZA

We don't need to spread the wealth, we need to spread the bread and butter!

Troy Yap

The best thing to do is to be able to do it yourself.

Bobby Builder

Much modern art prompts the question: Is it Art?

Alan Collett

It takes more to write a good aphorism than a dash of witty repartee and a crease in the trousers...those are tall words, better stop and think a minute!

Monty Don

If you take what you want then you want what you get...I think nobody can argue with that.

Swami Raj

It takes more than big letters and a big ego to make a great aphorist…

Monty Don

One should not put down, one should cut down!

Swami Raj

Aphorism: a cat chasing a squirrel along a telephone wire.

marty rubin

Aphorism: what is worth quoting from the soul’s dialogue with itself.

Yahia Lababidi

Nobody reads these aphorisms, because nobody deserves to know the truth.

Masked Aphorist

Do not say nothing here! Say something meaningless instead!

Masked Aphorist

Beware of puny two-legged creatures claiming to be made in the image of God.

marty rubin

Superficially, an aphorist is a bit like a philatelist, only he’ll never admit it.

Anonymus Anonymous

* Criticism does not require as much evidence as praise. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Spectacles remind us that our sight hangs on our ears. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Keep banging away at it man, you'll get somewhere delightful!

Masked Aphorist

All you have is existence––that’s all there is to it.

Swami Raj

If you’re weak you attract people who think that’s sweet.

Masked Aphorist

* To lay golden eggs, peck on the grains of truth. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

When I lose something I was afraid to lose I find I don't miss it.

marty rubin

All the world loves a laughing looser, but why do it if you can win?

Swami Raj

Understanding people’s indifference to one’s wishes, underscores one’s understanding of one’s self.

Masked Aphorist

To be strong implies a knowledge of what weakness will do to your hollyhocks.

Masked Aphorist

Give me peaceful, uneventful days, days that are easy to forget.

marty rubin

You can turn a joy into a torture just by making it so.

Swami Raj

In the fight for survival, a tie or split decision simply will not do.

Masked Aphorist.

I don't want to know where the squirrel stashes its nuts.

marty rubin

Before you say something stupid—shut your mouth, stupid!

Masked Aphorist

If you don’t stand up for yourself, you may only sit where you’re told.

Drew Byrne

trees don't complain about anything, and they can live forever

Tori Rowland

Nobody reads these aphorisms...not even: I!

Masked Aphorist

May it go on forever: this day. Life.

marty rubin

If you want something, ask for it.

Masked Aphorist.

The world is full of people who do something; they aren’t daft, so they must be normal.

Swami Raj

This World Could Wither The Soul Of A Saint.....Fortunately I'm Not One.

Ahmed " Asko" Askalany

to succeed we all need to triple our failure rate

Grahame Broadbelt

I’d hesitate to hit a woman with a hat on, but when she decides to take the gloves off that could be a different matter.

Zob! The Destroyer!

Mind what you have learned. Save you it can.

Master Yoda

Change is always trivial compared to what doesn't change.

marty rubin

The past is the only thing you have to dwell on in this world.

Swami Raj

You strain to understand the point, or you might miss the boat.

Zob! The Destroyer!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU ARE HERE.

Elyse Parks

Don't waste words, jump to conclusions.

Borrowdale Hermit

Right questions are probably problems...what you are looking for is answers...they are questions in another guise really.

Swami Raj

I tell you: it's a dog's life, any way you look at it!

Alfred Doolittle

A lot of money makes you feel prudent-like; and then it's goodbye to happiness.

Alfred Doolittle

Scratch backs; for whomsoever scratches backs gets his, or her, back scratched back.

Drew Byrne

Is knowing that you know nothing the same as knowing something?

marty rubin

There is music you never hear unless you play it yourself.

marty rubin

If one truely has lost hope, one would not be on hand to say so.

Eric Bentley

Nothin’ for a dollar ‘ere, and precious little for a monkey!

Albert Doolittle.

If you feel sad, just feel your heart beat.

Swami Raj

A man has to know when to burp; if he can't burp, well, he's not full yet.

Alfred Doolittle

Never trust a man who owns hair straighteners.

Emily Mcgeevor

My other aphorism is full of ennui.

Zob! The Destroyer!

The more idealism proves futile, the more I respect idealists.

marty rubin

Knowing how to sing and being able to sing is still not singing.

marty rubin

Most wise men won't tell you what you need to know because
they haven't got a clue about you anyway.

Swami Raj

Your capacity to improve your life is bounded by your incapacity to do so.

Drew Byrne

Dreams change the world-but only in dreams.

marty rubin

Wanting to do something for yourself is a greater force for change than wanting to do anything for anybody else.

Drew Byrne

Everything changes, but everything stays the same.

Drew Byrne

One day your life
will stop ringing.
Answer it.

Eric Nelson

* Human wit is only an image of universal sense. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Others chase their dreams. I dawdle behind.

marty rubin

Never express yourself more clearly than you can think.

Niels Bohr

Spend yourself; there's plenty more.

marty rubin

The constellations don't need to be rearranged.

marty rubin

If it rains tonight, rain will be the cause.

marty rubin

Failure comes only after death.

Ore Hendive

Good humor is the sun on cloudy days.

marty rubin

What is fog on the surface is also fog deep inside.

marty rubin

Tears are reflections of your soul!

Ore Hendive

Tears are replections of your soul!

Ore Hendive

"Dreams may have or no have path. Failure comes only after death."

Ore Hendive

Pie is good. Homework is not pie.
~James Patterson

~ flarglepuf

Birds are always shitting on my car but I don't take it personally.

marty rubin

How high do you have to jump to get over yourself?

marty rubin

Sometimes out of sheer perversity reality conforms to my wishes.

marty rubin

But me no buts, just butt your butt into the butts and butt off!

Drew Byrne

To seek amity amongst the controversial is a dangerous thing to do for the one-eyed bat-man!

Zob! The Destroyer!

* In politics, one man’s failure is another man’s fault. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

I am not a robot

Tori Rowland

Life's an old story. We all know how it ends.

marty rubin

I loved the sun, people, happiness-I never understood them.

marty rubin

A strange delusion: I never feel I'm missing out on anything.

marty rubin

* One man’s pain is another man’s painkiller. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Life may be nothing but a series of detours.

marty rubin

It's not worth staying up all night just to paint masterpieces.

marty rubin

The wages of sin is a little more freedom.

marty rubin

Nothing succeeds like indifference to success.

marty rubin

Even life isn't worth dying for.

marty rubin

I watch the sparrows flying from tree to tree. Not a single one doubts its freedom.

marty rubin

Even when you dial the wrong number there's someone on the other side.

marty rubin

A chain grows weaker with each new link it adds.

marty rubin

I'm not only lazy myself, but I inspire laziness in others.

marty rubin

What is is plenty, but more is never enough.

marty rubin

One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it's worth watching.

Rachel Diaz Diaz

agreed

Tori Rowland

The landscape looks different from every blade of grass.

marty rubin

Dear friends-Tori Rowland and Tilly Vadim:
There is no such thing as too much freedom or happiness.

marty rubin

* Light travels faster than sound, but sound is still louder. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Silence adds sparkle to many a speech. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

marty rubin writes too much also

Tori Rowland

Leonid Sukhorukov writes to much

Tilly Vadim

everything is false

Tilly Vadim

What if God really exists? That'd be the funniest joke of all.

marty rubin

Putting the poor and homeless in jail should be opposed on the grounds that it is cruel and usual punishment.

marty rubin

The amusement park was our best invention; the museum, the worst.

marty rubin

* Why does the ruler of the Earth have to live in Heaven? Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* It’s hard to look your boss in the eye and lick his boots at the same time. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

A time and a season for everything, but happiness first.

marty rubin

Looking in the mirror is seeing what other people see.

marty rubin

Never do anything important if you can help it.

marty rubin

"someday, someone may make a movie of your life. make sure it doesn't go straight to video"- Anthony Burrill

Tori Rowland

A philosopher who denies happiness is like an astronomer who denies the stars.

marty rubin

Let every breeze draw you out of yourself.

marty rubin

I'm not arrogant, even some people didn't like Jesus.

Nick Michalski

Walking is blind, even toward a clear horizon.

marty rubin

Illusion will never change into something real

Tori Rowland

Experiences for which there are no words get along fine without them.

marty rubin

Some people are born stupid, but most of us got that way in school.

marty rubin

The cavity of your body may be filled with organs, but your soul is empty - filled with nothing.

Jane Wei

Since I don't write about culture, politics or sex, only the wind reads me.

marty rubin

When I told the rainbow what its colors meant, it laughed.

marty rubin

Marty Rubin never lost so much time as when he submitted to learn of the computer.

marty rubin

Everybody calls me "Marty." I never know what to call myself.


marty rubin

I eat lots of candy. It's good for my health.

marty rubin

* Democracy offers the freedom to write and the right not to read. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

I'm a realist. I think life is beautiful.

Everything is real when it happens and a dream afterwards.

marty rubin

Where would you be if you left all your troubles behind?


You don't need misfortunes to be miserable. Imagination will do the trick.

marty rubin

Put on a red nose and baggy pants when the circus is in town.

marty rubin

The real vacation is from the mind.

marty rubin

Press your lips to the fountain and drink life in.

marty rubin

* These days, wisdom means knowing that we don’t need to be wise. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Only the very young, the very old, the very rich and the insane can get away with saying exactly what they feel.

Irena Sprey

WHEREVER YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE

wendy rush

One day you will look back and laugh.

nova caliente

I guess we will find that out..

WA ZA

Without asking a clear question, there won't be a clear answer.

Gabi Jaime

ah.. Duh!

WA ZA

Some people are just too temporary for anything permanent.
Jonathan Anthes

Jonathan Anthes

Sometimes loving humanity means hating people.

Garland Gardner

On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

Elizabeth Ashton Foster

Only after disaster can we be resurrected.

Elizabeth Ashton Foster

Intelligence does not need Intel inside
All it needs is a good sense outside

Ravi Gupta

Cultivated monstrosities become the purest ornaments.

Mustafa Gür

"Chivalry is dead, but it's still kind of cute."

Sam Fitzpatrick

Live life in love with one another

Matt Augustine

Freedom is a great horse to ride; but to ride somewhere.
Matthew Arnold

Per Bertelsen

The poor and unfortunate don't have the luxury of time to learn to fish.

Mr. Dahi

* If you want to test a genius, set a fool on him. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Happy New Year!.. It’s an April Fools’ Day!

Leonid Sukhorukov

The more one learns, the less one knows.

leigh hawker

that wasn't tea.

Dee Amazing

* Prejudices are habits which have lost track of time. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Prejudices are what fools use for reason.

No Ne

Clever tyrants are never punished.

No Ne

A love one will never push you down.

Christina ROBOTO

When recession swells, sex sells!

Per Bertelsen

Life is not a dress rehearsal; LIVE IT!

Per Bertelsen

"Don't take life so serious, son. It ain't nohow permanent!"
Pogo Possum by Walt Kelly

Anne Donahue

* Маанисиз ойлорду алтын менен да кооздой албайсың. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Kyrgyz language)

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Kadedale inimesele halvim kink on palee... kust avaneb vaade teisele, veel paremale paleele. Leonid S. Sukhorukov - Estonian
* The worst present for an envious person is a palace… with a view of a better one. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
- English

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Our sins are our best assassins. Leonid S. Sukhorukov ("All About Everything", UK, 2005)

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Our sins our best assassins. Leonid S. Sukhorukov ("All About Everything", UK, 2005)

Leonid Sukhorukov

CONCEPTUAL ART IS A GOOD IDEA

- John Baldessari

Chungaiz Khan Mumtaz

today is not yesterday, tomorrow will be better

Amie Ward

When spring comes we look at our dead lawn with dispare. We then go out and buy fertalizer with our well earned money. When we get home we spread the fertalizer own the dead grass and hope that it grows. We then wait. Soon the grass become very thick and tall. So we then cut our freshly grown grass down. What do we do with it then? We rake it up and throw it away. So... for a recap... we buy, wait, cut, then throw away. Honostly... what is the point?

Kinda makes you think... doesn't it?
yeah...

Allison C

Everything will not be okay, but things will improve. If you're getting better, you can't get any wors.e

Marielle de Torres

Crap happens. Learning how to flush it and make it all go away is the key.

Allison C

Reach for the stars.

Jana Miller

why does everyone always seem to be
far more clever than me.

Arne van Oosterom

Life can seem like a big messy bowl of spaghetti bolognese, think yummy and put on your plastic bib and start twirling your fork. Get the sauce all over your face. Want to use a knife and fork or pick out the mushrooms, go for it! Enjoy !

debbie winton

The tragedy is when man does not know himself or his enemy

debbie winton

We all have to answer are own questions. If you listen to others, it can help make sure you are asking the right question. If you follow others you are not even asking and if you keep asking the same questions, you avoiding the answers you already know. It is in writing that answer that we have learnt.

debbie winton

* Sleep and rise by the Sun and you will shine longer. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Diamonds only form under pressure.

Antony Thomas

To do or to undo. That is the question.

Maggie Claire

There is a simplicity in every complexity.

Maggie Claire

"If we are going to grow old gracefully, we ALL have to grow old gracefully. It's only fair." - Debra Di Giovanni

Sarah Battersby

We think we understand reality but our universe is only one of many.

Maggie Claire

What if you were no longer afraid?

Maggie Claire

Happiness is in how you see the world.

Wade Redfearn

Media is fluid. Know your volume.

hippie dad

Don't search for something you don't want to see.

Marielle de Torres

Sanity is but a part of insanity.

Stasa Stanisic

You don't have to go to the other side to get greener grass, but you do have to put up with shit for awhile the other way.

ChiChi Leibman

Understand and forgive that you can't completely trust anybody, not even yourself but, always have faith.

debbie winton

sit and listen to the wisdom of others, then run hearing only the sound of your heart.

debbie winton

* “Labour created man”(Fr.Engels)and man made life laborious. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Life is like sports. Sometimes you want to kill everyone on the field, but in the end it's all about haveing fun.

Marl Kondloch

Twitter made me learn one key thing: Relevance is relative!

Ralf Beuker

The glass is te wrong size.

Nick T

Discipline a child like you would brush your teeth; don't over do it.

Alex Rosenthal

* The more we know, the easier it becomes to admit what we don't know. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Knowing what you want is hard, making it happen is the easy bit.

Kate Jones

Life is a deck of cards; all of them jokers.

Antonie B

If its not an Ox its a cow.

vitor _

"If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got."

J. Mabley

CRUSHES ARE LIKE THE FLU, THEY CAN ONLY LAST FOR SO LONG.

Alex Rosenthal

I NEVER TRAVEL WITHOUT MY DIARY. ONE SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING SENSATIONAL TO READ ON THE TRAIN. (O. Wilde)

Lara Callegari

The Non-existent is whatever we haven't sufficiently desired. (F. Kafka)

Lara Callegari

A little rebellion every now and then is a good thing.

Seb Gillen

Question Everything.

Seb Gillen

* It's extremely difficult to devide people into good and bad, especially when they are too good at being bad. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Everything in moderation including moderation.

Mark Eijsermans

It is not uncommon to commiserate with a stranger's misfortune, but it takes a really fine nature to appreciate a friend's success. Oscar Wilde

Natasha Dean

An army of stags led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a stag...!!

Aftab Hameed Khan

Sometime you make a mistake
and sometime a mistake makes you

Ravi Gupta

Looks good, is good.

Lukas Barry

* The sixth sense is vital in marriage, particularly after the fifth divorce. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

You get in love by chance,
but you fall or rise in love is by choice.

Ravi Gupta

music is about hiting the earth w/ your feet, not waving your hands in the air

doru persinaru

If foresight was as deadly accurate as hindsight, risks would be too clear to ignore, and new experiences would be too frightening to embark on.

Alex Vail

I am conditioned to be air-conditioned.

Morgan Phillips

Mediocrity is forgiven more easily than talent. Emil Krotky

Nestor Uvarov

* Eating each other when we are not hungry is what distinguishes us from the rest of the animal kingdom. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Will someone please switch off the limelight. PLEASE!!!

Sunil Malhotra

My motto is start at the top and work your way down

Stephen Lindsay

* When the TV programme's ratings fall, advertise Viagra. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Being at your wits' end opens new horizons. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

If the minimum wasn't good enough it wouldn't be the minimum.

Franz Hamilton

A rich man has many friends... a poor man but a few

Ed Campanella

There is a simple rule of life,
Either you enjoy the life,
Or life will enjoy with you.

Ravi Gupta

* A professional doesn't have to be competent, just persuasive. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Remember, wherever you are, there you'll be!

albert bruchs

Having money isn't everything, not having it is.

Yasin Dahi

It's a whatever-situation whenever she's around

Mr. Dahi

Don't look, see.

M is.

* We'll all be there one day. So there we are. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to slide across the finish line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, leaking oil, and shouting GERONIMO!!! - Bill McKenna

John Jenkins

I am ...
Who is I?

toon nolten

He sets extremely low standards for himself and fails to meet them regularly

Stephen Lindsay

To think is to educate, to act is to learn

debbie winton

The greatest gift you can give, to yourself and others is your precious time.

debbie winton

You may only have one life, dont give it to others

debbie winton

Philosophers have sought to understand the world. The point is to complain about it.

Paul Evans

Imagination is composed of artificial layers of reality.

Joyce Yang

* Even the sun blushes when it sinks. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

It is better to seek forgiveness than permission

Stephen Lindsay

Uneducated, amateur aphorists are condemned to erroneously think they are original.

Dan Abrams

Bite your tongue too much, it swells.
Joseph Samuel Beckett, 2008

Joe Beckett

I am Me.

Marc Davis

Life is a form of insanity.

alexandra smiley

* Life gives us a world of chances but not the time to travel. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

APOLOGIES AND PROMISES ARE BUT THE FLOWERS ON OUR TONGUES

Vicente Butron

Men make a long story short. Women make a short story long.

Maarten P. Kappert

There is no "I".
There is only being there.

Jon Leflar

The only thing I love about this life is the fact that I hate it.

Jon Leflar

I prefer to rule in Hell, Than to serve in Heaven.

Joe Rouhana

* Laugh at yourself and smile at others. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

P.S.: We've got plenty of space for our genius here.

Leonid Sukhorukov

Be humble and never forget that there is a Leonid S Sukhorukov in all of us

Jack Gardner

You have permission to look at life sideways.

Katie Jergens

time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.

John Lennon

* Earthly paradise is an illusion of the perfect life. Hell is the perfect life without illusions Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

The good thing about wearing a bra is that you don't have to take it off.

jill mathieu

Don't try just do it,
There is no such thing if you try.

Erik Chang

SIT, WALK, OR RUN, BUT DON'T WOBBLE

Walter Spoonbill

Gnothi Seauton.
Know Thyself.
Don't be lazy, take a break and think about it.

Michael Grinn

The best outlook on life is that of the optimistic pessimist.

bobby cashman

I am me,
you are you.
The difference between me and you
is what makes me me and you you.

luc nagel

Definitely, definitely, definitely do whatever it is you're thinking.

Sam Fitzpatrick

DON'T LET ANYONE EVER
MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU
DON'T DESERVE WHAT YOU WANT.
GO FOR IT.

Patrick, 10 Things I Hate About You

Shannosaurus Rex

Don't let anyone ever
make you feel like
you don't deserve
what you want.
Go for it.

Shannosaurus Rex

Everything that is done in the darkness will come out into the light

Natily Ayala

It is human nature to think wisely and to act in an absurd fashion - Anatole France

Louise Simms

People who don't question life, do on their deathbeds.

Tegan Schetrumpf

Strength in mind, strength in body – loose one and you've lost the other.

Pandora Shallcross

* Weakness is force of habit. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Please, someone mention to Leonid Sukhorukov - less is most definitely more. (*-*)

Pandora Shallcross

* Freedom is the illusion of an imprisoned mind. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
* Liberdade é a ilusão de uma mente encarcerada. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Portuguese)
* Libertad es la ilusion de una mente encarcelada. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Spanish)

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Freedom is the illusion of an imprisoned mind. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
* Liberdade é a ilusão de uma mente encarcerada. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Portuguese)
* Libertad es la ilusion de una mente encarcelada. Leopnid S. Sukhorukov (Spanish)

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Experience is what you get when you've managed to get rid of what you've got. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Marriage is like a bicycle: it has two wheels but only one seat. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Words are euphemisms for the Unspeakable.

Guy Geduldig

Nervous tension is an unseen enemy of the human mind.

Ari Weiss

Stop looking at this box and go outside. Or do whatever the hell you wanna do, because you can.

Ari Weiss

The difference between experience and expertise is knowing the difference.

Alan Sangma

If It's Not Broken Don't Fix It

Fans of Rick O'Shea & Nikki Hayes

Don't take life too seriously. You'll never make it out alive.

Jeremy Schanzbach

Waiting for something is worse than knowing the outcome.

Pandora Shallcross

let your feet stomp.

kimberly rose

If life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice in its eyes then mug it.

What has this site come to but people dribbling on about life!!!

matthew zeiler

Love dropped out of school in first grade

Antonio Pozo

Whenever I clasp a peach in my hands, I feel like I have the world within my grasp.

Emily Richards

A vacant lot is like pie

Michael Hollander

ONE MAN'S FAITH IS ANOTHER MAN'S INCREDULITY, WITH LITTLE IF ANYTHING TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THEM.

morgan evetts

* Life is what we make it. Plus expenses! Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Only concern yourself with things that exist.

Roxanne Garofalo

Life is a sadistic bitch whose candid cover is surprisingly deceitful.

Rosali P

Ideas cannot be destroyed. Freedom is an idea.

Julian Adams

Imagination is the best way to say "fuck you!" to reality.

Paul Marique

Help until it hurts, and then help some more to ease the pain.

Antonio Pozo

When crossing the road, think like a car.

mark roder

* The egg does not teach the hen but it perplexes her. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Worshipping power creates the inquisitor. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. It will spoil the lawn. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

When you're skating on thin ice, be prepared to get wet.

Juliet Newman

Nothing really matters, but that's the beauty of it.

Anony Mous

if the idiots could fly, we wouldn`t see the sun

Torcida Moria

truth is, we're all confused. some merely hide it much better than others.

kenny ezra

I have voted 'against' someone for the last time, hopefully.

John Williams

Speak or be silent

tom lancaster

The early bird catches the worm but the second mouse around gets the cheese.

matthew zeiler

Love and shit are the very same thing. Pouring it out feels great but it won't last.

Crack Whore

Love and shit are the very same thing. Pouring it out feels great but it won't last.

Crack Whore

* The harder we fight for peace the greater the danger that no stone will be left standing. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Fight for truth peacefully. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Never interrupt a silent enemy. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Book of aphorisms "All About Everything", UK, 2005)

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Don't trust a mirror. It can't tell left from right. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* If you don't believe in the resurrection of the dead, look at politicians seeking re-election. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Don't believe the next aphorism.

luc nagel

I went to thedailyaphorism.com and all I could submit was this lousy aphorism.

luc nagel

I am not a robot

luc nagel

Everybody else's story is just as complicated as your own.

Zach Selby

* Wisdom is the meeting point of doubt and certainty. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Once candle is lit, time melts away. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Book "All About Everything", UK, 2005)

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Happiness divided by two is multiplied. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Marriage is the dark side of the honeymoon. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Book "All About Everything", UK, 2005)

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Character is an inhabited habit. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Never consider yourself too big - it's a small world. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Love your mistakes, but don't marry one. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Education is the scientific exchange of ignorance. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* To spend money wisely – first spend it on your wisdom. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Poverty has nothing to lose and lots to find. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Wealth and poverty are separate worlds on the same planet. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* First Law of Law: You can't invent the wheel without bending the rules. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Improvisation ist der verzweifelte Versuch, sich an das Stück zu erinnern. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

If anyone needs a bailout it is the dead.

Biff Geezman

I love spending time at home with my family. It's my favorite thing to do besides spending time at home by myself.

Ammon Allred

We are all stars, but some of us are looking in the gutter.

Dan Chilcott

There is more to life than reality

Elise Mckenna

Hope is the quintessential of all human emotions.

Nisreen Motiwalla

I observe, therefore I am.

simon crosby

Ignorance is bliss.

matthew zeiler

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

matthew zeiler

Just remember, if the world didn't suck we would all fall off.

matthew zeiler

Systemise to rationalise.

Phil Evans

Faster faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.

Phil Evans

For generosity, there is no such thing as ingratitude. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Welcome the fool, for in his shadow we appear brighter. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Man creates religion to fight each other, God creates it to win our hearts and minds. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

The sharpest wit strikes the target before the shot. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

A little freedom is seductive – it makes eyes at independence. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

To lead others, embody their ideals! Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Shallow footprints are soon covered by the dust of time. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Every cudgel is a two-headed stick. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Enlighten the path of others – darkness lights its own way. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

An ethical foreign policy means helping them up after you’ve knocked them down. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Employers prefer to take honest people because honest people don’t take. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Cry until you laugh, and laugh until you die.

Alejandro Aceveda

I reallo love you but i really hate your works.

hank park

Like stew, retorts are always better the next day.

Talkers never find the listeners they desire, listeners always find...

Before offering an opinion consider, at some length, the unique silence of thickly falling snow.

You will disappoint if you deliver excellence when mediocrity was requested.

Do not worry about who owns the cups, worry about who owns the water.

In a world of religious conflict wouldn't a rotating God make more sense.

When something just can not go on any longer, it usually does.

Let the fool lead first.

Democracy is the triumph of the mild prejudices of the many over the extreme prejudices of the few.

Be not the Fox when chickens have been murdered.

A weak friend is more dangerous than a strong enemy.

Observe arrogance in the same silence you would watching a drunk wearing flip-flops walking across a wet marble floor.

What we fear more than anything is that there are no ghosts.

A doubt is just another kind of certainty.

Convince the robot who believes that you are the robot that she is wrong.

Money evaporates, debts condense.

The more hands holding the snake the better.

When all questions have been aswered the one that will remain is, have they?


Jack Gardner

Everyone should get alive and get a life.

Bryan chan

Everyone is somehow sick, even the healthiest ones, because they are sick of getting sick.

Bryan chan

don't ask me, because I don't know why
but it's like that, and that's the way it is.
Run DMC

luc nagel

Everybody lies, but it dosn't matter because no-one listens.

matthew zeiler

The grass is always greener where the fertilizer is spread thickest.

Toad Stool

A friend is somebody who will bail you out of jail at 4am.
A good friend would be in jail with you.
A best friend would help you hide the body so you don't end up in jail.

Toad Stool

On the keyboard of life, always keep a finger on the escape key.

matthew zeiler

when in doubt, go to the theatre with tracy, and the answer will become apparent.

jane evans

"Let's see why we all blindly follow along."

Ken Son

* Improvisation is a desperate attempt to remember the tune. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Toss a coin to make a decision and the outcome will be more interesting than going by the book (as the book is widely known to be a bore).

Margo Mano

feeling is believeing

ian whitaker

free will is not a cage

ian whitaker

Is terrorism inside the United States really from outside, or is it a stage managed production, designed to cause Americans to believe they have no choice but to surrender the Republic and accept the totalitarian rule of a new emperor, or a new Fuhrer?

darrin smith

Real eyes realize real lies

Marc Miller

The time of your life... is your lifetime

Sally Child

ART - A primary aphorism.

Pandora Shallcross

Politics, religion,life. All dead without emotion.

Pandora Shallcross

I,me,you,we - united, though only by personal subjective pronouns?

Pandora Shallcross

the fountain of youth turns ten today

tanushri shukla

Smile.
Even if that means walking on your hands.

Sasha Bideau

Thanks to great singers, music has acquired a human voice. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Don’t seek happiness in life, give life to happiness! Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Money isn't everything but neither is it nothing. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

For every shortcut, there's a reason it's not the main road.

Kate Smith

Forget your coins,
I want change!

luc nagel

Sometimes i am determined sometimes i just want to sleep..

savanna puckett

The banks really want to give you money -
as long as you don't really need it.

The less you need the money,
the more the money they give.

Rev. Dr. Knut M. Heim

If YOU don't look after yourself, no-one else will.

Rev. Dr. Knut M. Heim

If you think that Life is a Bitch... Then YOU are the 'PUSSY'

Aylmer Lyngwa

The milk of disappointment: sour hope

Sally Child

Close encounter with the TRUTH gave me the REAL STRENGTH.

Gaurav Mishra

It is better to lose a limb than gain one.

Jennifer Whitehead

Good friends always back you up.

Only the very best of friends will have the guts to tell you when you're being a complete arse.

Emily Hasler

Be watchful of ambition and luxury. They both lay beyond ears grasp & whisper 'you are not enough'.

Ira Webbe

Today begins tomorrow.

Ira Webbe


“All people possesses capacity and knowledge from there world of life and viewpoint even kids.”

Siv Östman

“Dignified societies dignify and welcome every new human!”

Siv Östman

“It is in the meeting between - from inside and from outside insight that real changing interaction becomes possible”

Siv Östman

We are a mixture of good and evil. For some, good balances the evil - for others, evil balances the good. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

P.S.: Happy Christmas to all!

Leonid Sukhorukov

Anyone can be an atheist … God willing. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Happiness is the precious gift of surrounding oneself with happy people. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

It’s hard to swim against the stream – especially the bloodstream! Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

For some, religion cures the soul, for others it sickens the mind. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Democracy opens mouths but does not fill them. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

The main gift of democracy is the freedom to demand it. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Money is evil… and the less we have the more evil it becomes. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Anaesthetics come in three forms – local, general and national. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

The US Congress is the only place a person can get a job for $145,000.00 per year,
live a life of luxury, retire with millions of dollars and with a straight face call it
"public service".

John Rudd

All things cycle-but we can only understand things that cycle quicker than our lifecycle

John Rudd

Avoiding discomfort with political correctness, makes me uncomfortable

John Rudd

I dreamed I died on Mars, in the dream, I am an old woman, looking out the window upon a most foreign of vistas out of my final bed, so far away from the salty seas and blue skies of home...and I laugh to myself in my lonely room.

M Wright

Are you trying to tell me that you never yearned for a little heartbreak?

Meagan Heinloo

There was no tomorrow

jane evans

There is meditation in the mundane

jane evans

The mundane eventually becomes meaningful

jane evans

Fear not having to divide your love. Love multiplies

jane evans

Only you know why you did it

jane evans

Your only worthy competitor is yourself

jane evans

"I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife, while muting the television.

Andy Graham

If being "cool" is really being yourself, then what's a geek?

Jayson Albano

There is no such thing as normal. Only stereotypical and generic.

Jayson Albano

We have used our sexual liberation to enslave ourselves to sex.

Brian Stanley

I would go as far as setting myself on fire just to be your beacon of light.

Jayson Albano

An epiphany is a whim that sticks.

Brian Stanley

The shortest day of the year is happily the widest aperture to infinity - night merging seamlessly with the infinite - the most night of the year our gift on the shortest day.

Tom Luke

The pursuit of happiness is doomed to fail, not because no one can be happy, but because no one can be happy by trying to be. Each new land that Alexander the Great conquered, instead of satisfying him, merely widened the circumference of his desires. Meanwhile in Macedon, his servants kept the stables, made love to their wives, and never dreamt of Persia's riches. Happiness is the pursuit of nothing.

more aphorisms and paradoxes at www.brianjaystanley.com

Brian Stanley

* Modesty is the shortest route to obscurity. But once famous, you can afford to become modest. - English
* A modestía é o caminho mais curto até a escuridão. Mas com fama, temos o luxo de ser modestos. – Portuguese
* Хоть скромность и кратчайший путь в неизвестность, зато, получив известность, можно позволить себе любую скромность. - Russian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Modesty is the shortest route to obscurity. But once famous, you can afford to become modest. - English
* A modestía é o caminho mais curto até a escuridão. Mas com fama, temos o luxo de ser modestos. – Portuguese
* Хоть скромность и кратчайший путь в неизвестность, зато, получив известность, моржно позволить себе любую скромность. - Russian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* You can lock the door on talent but time will find the key. - English
* Рuoi tenere il talento sotto chiave. Ma il tempo, la chiave, la troverà. – Italian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Life is not a laughing matter ... but can you imagine having to live without laughing? (In Reader's Digest, 4, 1998) - English
* Az élet csöppet sem nevetséges - de el tudják képzelni, milyen lenne, ha nevetés nélkül kellene élni? (In Reader’s Digest) - Hungarian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* Un aforism este un roman de un rând. – Romanian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* An aphorism is a one-line novel. - English
* Um aforismo é um romance de uma linha. - Portuguese
* Афоризм - это роман в одну строку. - Russian
* Un aforismo es un novela de una liña. – Spanish
* En aforism är en roman av en rad - Swedish
* Афоризм - це роман в один рядок. - Ukrainian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

* Un aforism este un roman de un rând.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* In life, everything is relative — except Einstein’s theory! - English
* ในชีวิตทุกสิ่งทุกอย่างสัมพันธ์กัน ยกเว้นทฤษฎีของไอสไตน์ - Thai
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* First Law of Philosophy: The deeper you think, the deeper you sink. -English
* První právo filozofie: Hlouběji my myslíme, hlouběji my klesáme. - Czech
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* We all have equal rights but different blessings. – English
* Todos têm direitos iguais mas com benções differentes. - Portuguese
* Todos tienen derechos iguales pero con bendiciones diferentes. - Spanish
* Vi har alla samma rättigheter men med olika välsignelser. - Swedish
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* War brings peace, but only to its victims. - English
* A Guerra traz paz, mas só para as suas vítimas. - Portuguese
* La Guerra trae paz pero solo para sus victimas. - Spanish
* Krig framkallar fred men bara till sina offer. – Swedish
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* It is never too late to study, but it may be too late to learn.
* Nunca é tarde demais para estudar, mas poderá ser tarde demais para aprender. - Portuguese
* Nunca es demasiado tarde para estudiar, pero podera ser demasiado tarde para aprender. - Spanish
* Det är aldrig för sent att studera, men det kan vara för sent for at lära sig. – Swedish
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

* No matter how long you teach a fool, he still knows everything. - English
* Não importa quanto tempo tu enisnas um tolo, ele continua a saber tudo. – Portuguese
* No importa cuanto tiempo tu enseñas a un tonto, el continua a saber todo. – Spanish
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Intuition without reason leads only to true opinion, not truth itself

Tracy Howard

O nada também transborda de vazio.

João Serenus

O cachorro vigia o silêncio como o jardineiro vigia o jardim.

João Serenus

Fear makes the wolf look bigger.

Holly Stardust

Do we build wall's to keep people in or to keep them out?

Rose Rockabella

When someone says "I love you" substitute "I'm curious".

Biff Geezman

America is alchemy for turning greed into virtue. It gives us optimism.

Biff Geezman

Sex without love is an empty experience,
but as empty experiences go it's one of the best!

Richard Hunston

Nothing is impossible...Only the thought of something being impossible should never be possible.

Pixie Stardust

Holly Stardust

Don't expect the unexpected.

Pixie Stardust

Holly Stardust

Together
More than one, less than two.

Bereft
Now feels less than one.

After Danny Abse

Robert MacGibbon

When we run away from each other we forget that the world is round.

Raphael Kamp

Only the dying know life. Only the dead know truth.

N. M.

We spend the first half our lives acquiring addictions ,and the second half trying to quit them.

Howard Kaye

Life until Death! Unless Death comes first.

Aleksandar Ratkovic

Powerless anger is the strongest. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Even alone in this world, we can still be at one with the Universe. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

To lay golden eggs, peck on the grains of truth. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Natural philosophy: the rosy dreams of a blue planet. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Big money may stink – but what a heady fragrance! Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

All mortals are hostages of eternity. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

World politics is a game of cards played with maps. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Spiritual bonds are immune to the power of distance. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Every one of us is a genius, but not necessarily in the right epoch. Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

The best advice fares worst in the ears of the author

infinite livez

If we were as clever as we think we are, we would know that we are not.

Michael Quinnen

Live the life in front of you.

Pamela Barclay

When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.

Spencer Harrison

It ain't no fun, if the hoomies can have non.

Jilt Meeder

Make Change.
Do Change.
Change with a capital OK!

Jeremy Hofmsister Mac Lynn

The difference between
'Try' and 'Triumph'
is a little 'Umph'.

Chris Tully

If trees could talk, would they tell happy stories or sad stories?

Anthony Schneider

ALWAYS judge a book by its cover

Alexander Langlands

The school for life by copying the ideas of the Oxford muse has given the highest form of flattery^^

Graeme Outerbridge

I've come a long way; from now to Now...

Ioannis Christodoulou

don't worry
whatever happens
happens mostly
without you.

sophie springer

WANTING EVERYTHING TAKES TIME.

sophie springer

Salt and pepper are nothing alike, yet they work well together. Food for thought.

David V

Follow your heart, you will need your head if it all goes wrong!

Lisa Rogers

Whenever Whatever

Shakira Argetina

LIFE is lIFE

Frans Bauer

A real question is one that works on you, day in, day out and simply won't let go (until you do).

Andy Bell

you don't have to go to the other side to get greener grass

richard watkins

The meaning of life is to experience being alive.

David McMurtrie

Don't be stupid. Risk it all.

Bas Weers

Better 3 bugs flying, then 1 fly bugging!

El bugho Bonfire

Simon says, 'see 'm on'

El Bucho

I've been watching paint dry for years, now it's time to wallpaper over it.

Richard Slade

Never losing means you played too safe; never winning means you should change your game.

Alice Raine

"It's just an expression" is just an expression.

Matthew Dekneef

My life is full of plot holes.

Matthew Dekneef

You don't have to do all that can be done, just all that you can do.

Andrew Webb

Don't worry about life, you're not going to survive it anyway.

Marc Cinq-Mars

Rarely does a missed deadline result in a death.

Keir Bosley

The quoting of an aphorism, like the barking of a large dog, rarely indicates that something good is about to happen.

-- Lemony Snicket

Jordan Durham

The brightest lazy person fails where the dimmest ambitious person succeeds.

Josiah Perez

PAIN is WEAKNESS leaving the body!!!!!!

Mickey English

Do you live your dream or dream to live?

Mickey English

if batman were a bird, he would be birdman.

paige smith

Don't you know that life becomes so miserable when you're dead?

Jeremy Frenette

I think the rule of finders keepers should be true only to friendship. If you find a friendship, keep it.

Jeremy Frenette

I think the rule of finders keepers should be true only to friendship. If you find a friendship, keep it.

Jeremy Frenette

Experience your pain, appreciate your ecstasy.

Elliott Chevin

I hope for nothing, I fear nothing, I am free

Nikos Kazantzakis

Theodoros Karapateas

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, glass of red wine in the other, body thoroughly used up and totally worn out while screaming "WOO HOO! What a ride!"

Dan van Dan

Everyday I find a reason why people who have commited suicide are probably wiser than those who haven't.

David Salas

Life is not like a penis. Life is always hard.

E Oren

When you do nothing, nothing gets done.

Steph B

Trust everyone once

Ian Gilbert

Nothing does not exist. Nothing is simply the absence of something.

Ariel Alexander

Life is a side effect of existence so don't take it too seriously - side effects vanish in time, you know.

Aleksandar Hitrov

A just Creator would not require you to think of him. He'd merely require you to think.

Asmundur Helguson

Because autodidacts have the great fortune of being able to grade themselves they do not suffer for their sloppy study habits. Those who listen to them do.

Ammon Allred

I wasn't sure I had an aphorism to contribute until I looked up what it meant.

matt jones

The day I beat my alarm clock is the day I die in my sleep.

Ben Penn

This sentence is just that.

Pee Mack

EVERYTHING MORE OR LESS TASTES LIKE CHICKEN

David McMurtrie

Wisdom is not what you know, but seeing what others know.

David V

Terorism is frustrated tyranny

Reginald Oliver

I wish i was where i was when i was wishing i was here.

Jonathon Owens

the truth is each one has its own.
the lie is each one.

Bernardo Macedo

I would lose half of my emotional life if I didn't have guilt.

Barry Johnson

When someone asks 'what do you do?', I get confused. I have not lasted in any job long enough to know what I do.

Umanga Pandey

Words are cheap and poets are cursed with poverty.

Umanga Pandey

I am like a pea in a colander looking for a way out.

Pauline Hill

Expect the worst and you'll never be disappointed.

Paula Dunlop

The glass isn't half empty. It's not half-full either. It's leaking.

Mehdi Musawi

An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth is the dream of transplant surgery.

Jack Benlow

I love being alive. It's just comforting to know that suicide is an option.

Dan Poulton

Simple isn't easy.

Nick Fell

I am the world's foremost expert at only one thing - being me.

Terri Blake

Once in a while you gotta burn down your house, keep your dreaming alive. Once in a while you gotta burn your lips, keep your feelings alive.

Lily Java

Lily Java

Do not forget freedom is not on your to-do list

Arjen Noordhof

The Scottish are well balanced, chips on both shoulders.

A non

Pi is completly pointless, a circle has no verticies.

Adrian Tompkins

Take my wife. No really, take my wife.

Jackie mason

the only way we can be patient with someone is to realize that they're worth it.

london gabanna

An erection is an honesty meter

Biff Geezman

Is the water that misses you in the shower wasted?

Jack Gardner

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give a man a fishing rod and he will starve.

Jack Gardner

Denial works better in wide open spaces

Max Porter

I'm just an empty canvas, eager to be painted.

Jessica Young

I tried to imagine the absolute nothingness.I got absolutly nothing.

Nicoleta Pynn,Toronto,Canada

Nicoleta Pynn

1. Take two opposites, connect the dots, and you have a straight line.

2. Truth can be like a large, bothersome fly - brush it away and it returns buzzing.

3. In life, as in love, graceful leave-taking is the epitome of gratitude.

4. Pleasure may be snatched from life’s clenched fists, not joy.

5. The small spirit is quick to misperceive an insult, the large spirit slow to receive a compliment.

6. Like cars in an amusement park, our direction is often determined through collisions.

7. To be treated with mercy, some must reveal their handicaps, while others must conceal them.

8. Time heals old wounds only because there are new wounds to attend to.

9. Things are at their most comfortable, before they collapse – be they armchairs or relationships.

10. With enigmatic clarity, Life gives us a different answer each time we ask her the same question.


Yahia Lababidi

I tried to imagine the absolute nothingness.I got nothing.

Nicoleta Pynn,Toronto,Canada

Nicoleta Pynn

How could I live in the moment?The moment a second from the future enters our lives becomes the past.

Nicoleta Pynn,Toronto,Canada

Nicoleta Pynn

It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.
c/o Upton Sinclair

Elliott Cooper

Maybe tomorrow

Nick Eagleton

You can't threaten me with Heaven.

William Barden

As with mariners shipwrecked near a coast, it would have been better for the bad swimmers if they had not been able to swim at all and had stuck to the wreck.

Origin of Species, Chapter V

charles darwin

There is complicity in inaction.

n e

Sometimes
getting lost
is part of finding your way

janita thiele

People are less complicated than they think they are. They are also more complicated than we think they are.

Ainara Del Valle

Why should I now what I´m doing here? I´m doing nothing anyway.

Julyana Weksler

A bus station is where a bus stops, a train station is where a train stops. On
my desk I have a work station...

Steve Young

All generalizations are stupid, including this one.

Julyana Weksler

It's not the only thing we have to fear is fear itself : it's the only thing we have to fear is fear ourselves.

Phil Tschirhart

Now is the winter of our dishcloth tent.

Elliott Cooper

UNSETTLE YOUR MIND, AND YOU WILL BE FREE

Paloma Marin


1.Sadly, ambition is not confined to the talented.

2. Tolerance is apt to decrease in relation to experience.

Janice James

fuck love.

Tina Tan

It isn't Simple to be Simple

Shachar Pessis

The problem with common sense is that it isn't all that common.

Robert Houghton

Do the right thing; it will gratify those who expect it, and astonish those who don't.

Ray D'Shramp

It's easy to criticize someone when you are a mile away from them, even if you are wearing their shoes!

Dan van Dan

Talent imitates, genius samples.

Faris Yakob

Talent imitates, genius cuts and pastes.

Faris Yakob

Maintain civility, practice tolerance, acquire contentment.

Ray D'Shramp

Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas.

Geoffrey Morton-Haworth

Regardless if your glass is half full or half empty, you still have half a glass to go.

Ray D'Shramp

never look down on another, unless you are offering your hand to help him up

Ann Lawrence

Good and bad are just words, feeling is everything.

Christopher Trano

The present is the history of the future.

G Hawke

Oh what a tangled sweater we knit when at first we practice to never try try again.
-Kelly Bundy

Heywood Jablowme

we are [for one another] an innumerable mass of atlases; our charge to piece together fragments of truth and heap the weight of humanity upon our shoulders.

rayshauna gray

We don't need to spread the wealth. We nned to spread the effort.

Troy Yap

Some of us are Astronauts, some are Astronomers. And some are just Astrologers.

Tobias Revell

(An aphorism that is often spoken in recovery groups, no one really knows who coined it first. However, it expresses a universal truth nonetheless) "Live easy but think first!"

David McMurtrie

If your glass is half empty, you've already had a drink and you've still got half a glass to go.

Dan van Dan

A learning experience is one of those things that say, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.'
(Douglas Adams)

Dan van Dan

Never let the odds keep you from pursuing what in your heart you know you were meant to do.

Ray D'Shramp

Don't use words or time carelessly since neither can be retrieved.

Ray D'Shramp

Hold puppies, kittens and babies every chance you get...

Ray D'Shramp

Always look for trouble;
Then avoid it!

Ray D'Shramp

Always do the right thing, simply because it's the right thing to do.

Ray D'Shramp

I only know as much as I remember.

Julia Jarvis

Confidence also comes from how much you are committed.

Chloe Ding

Don't let the facts get in the way of the truth.

Rishi Dastidar

Sometimes, looking for trouble is the right thing to do.

Rishi Dastidar

When shit becomes of value, the poor will be born without assholes.

Mark C

Being alive is enough for crazy-making.

Tegan Robinett

I blog, therefore I am

F Silveira

Do or do not.

spencer friend

I have never really completely understood anything.

Ann Lawrence

I speak truth to power whenever I tell myself how handsome I am.

Ammon Allred

One advantage of writing over speech is that it enables us to preserve our thoughts for the sake of future embarrassment.

Michael J. Weber

The only way to defeat life is to enjoy it.

Michael J. Weber

Nothing bungled, nothing ventured.

Michael J. Weber

If discontent did not exist, we would probably be obliged to invent it.

Michael J. Weber

There are many to whom self-knowledge would constitute an identity crisis.

Michael J. Weber

On play depends much of life’s seriousness. Without enjoyment, or a vivid prospect of it for ourselves and those we love, most of us would find life a lot less obviously valuable.

Michael J. Weber

Man cannot live on necessities alone.

Michael J. Weber

He who knows all the answers has obviously misunderstood at least some of the questions.

Michael J. Weber

Life is much too short for hardheaded practicality or steel-trap judgments.

Michael J. Weber

Nothing improves the species so much as wars of religion; the credulous leap to their deaths by the thousands, leaving mostly sceptics to reproduce their kind.

Jordan Brown

The fact that nothing is certain does not imply that anything is possible.

Dan Johnson

There are dog people and cat people. Dog people prefer dogs to cats; cat people prefer cats to people.

Anonymous

Hear everything. Here, everything.

Brandon

A child believes everything he hears, a fool hears everything he believes and a wise man hears everything.

Brandon

One should believe in something to die for, no one should believe in something to kill for.

Brandon

The modern person is confronted with two options: consume dangerous drugs or consume dangerous ideas. The former threatens to destroy their bodies, the later the very society which necessitates the former.

Brandon

The greatest liberty is the power to be merciful toward those who cause you injury.

Brandon

Euphoria can be bought, courage cannot.

Brandon

Materialism is valuing what you do not have and not valuing what you do have.

Brandon

Aphorisms are widely read but often narrowly understood.

Brandon

Philanthropists are misanthropes who wish they weren't.

Ammon Allred

We tell too much, so we think less well.

SDMuzzy

No matter what you believe, One thing unites us all. You are probably wrong.

Bob Churchill

Only through strife does one become stronger. So when you find hell, grab on, and never let go!

Aesielle Ehrhart

Why listen to someone who has never done anything, tell you, that you never can?

Aesielle Ehrhart

The longer I live, the more I realize, that life is nothing but fighting against common sense.

Aesielle Ehrhart

One of man’s greatest mistakes is believing he is worthy of peace. One of man’s greatest failings is fighting for this.

Aesielle Ehrhart

What inspiration is worth waiting around for?

Aesielle Ehrhart

Beware the knowledge you gain!

Aesielle Ehrhart

If not you, then who?

Gail Renard

Definition of "a priori": Empirically uninformed premise that helps one's argument go through, and is therefore said to be "known".

James Grindeland

Definition of "a priori": Empirically uninformed premise that helps one's argument go through, or helps one's problem exist in the first place, so that there can be an entire industry of well-paid people trying to solve it, and is therefore said to be "known".

James Grindeland

Tracking the minds of those brilliant thinkers is great; greater is to find their endless excavations for truth, their war of wisdom where intellectual weaponries played havoc of human evolution. But the greatest to me is the intellectual bravery of questioning every phenomenon.

Palden Gyal

The greatest happiness from* the greatest number: 69.

Justin R. Morris

The greatest happiness for the greatest number: 69.

Justin R. Morris

Theodicy: An omniscient, omnibenevolent God will surely understand why I refuse to believe in Him.

Ammon Allred

Quantum theory tells us that space is infinite, time goes on forever; but you still can't get a plumber when you need one.

Jack Benlow

An aphorist is a bee-keeper who can't spell

Jack Benlow

A religious experience is madness by another name

Jack Benlow

Watching paint dry is exciting compared with the endless boredom of test cricket

Jack Benlow

"One thing is one thing, another thing is another thing."anonm

Paulo Cesar

IT IS EASIER TO HATE THEN LOVE.

Kris HAYWARD

Women are good from far but far from good

Joessp Alonzo

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to park right next to it.
(David Lee Roth)

Jess Houghton

Be good, but if you can't be good, be bad, but be really good at it.

Jess Houghton

We're all drivers on the economy bus. Whaddya say we go somewhere nice?

Bill Frederick

It is hard to capture the spirits of people using the limited capacity of language. They are forces whose energy both breeze by and settle in.

Tegan Robinett

i want to be unflummoxed. that's why i'm going to college.

Tegan Robinett

Woman have three choices: Dante, Don Juan or Don Quiote

Biff Geezman

The quickest way to ruin a relationship is to start one.

Kristen Chang

If you don't want the answer, don't ask the question!

Andy Snitker

There is always something unknown in our life. Will you allow this X exist, or are you going to keep calculating the value of this X through your life?

Chloe Ding

While it is true that you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar, if your goal is simply to catch flies - try shit.

Flongo Rantuzzi

I may be perverted, but I am NOT a pervert.

Peter Milligan

its not a matter of greener grass.. its how good is the lawn mower. shh

stace hayworth

Why do I have so much laundry when I have absolutely nothing to wear?

niccy gotch

Jesus loves you; everyone else thinks you are an asshole.

Homer Simpson

Every man is an island. Luckily, we thrive for Pangaea.

Paulo Filipe

you know those sweatshirts with the cuff neck that zips? guys can NEVER go wrong with that.

wait, maybe they can.

Tegan Robinett

When men argue with women they have two choices....To be right OR to be happy.

Jenn Noneyourbiz

Humans are like snowflakes. Too small to tell apart and they don't last long.

M. Duncan

Humans are like snowflakes. Too small to tell apart and they don't last long.

M. Duncan

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Stephanie Zweig

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Stephanie Zweig

i've taken quite enough, thank you God

Tegan Robinett

It is better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission.

M. Duncan

This one time I ate a can of Hormel tamales. It sucked.

Twenty Nine

Whatever makes your chickens cluck.

Marwan Itani

You have to let go of everything to see how to hold tight to the things that matters

Christoph Wong

No surprise, it's unsurprising.

Alexander Choat

If all you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail.

Jason Handby

just because we are the same person, it doesn't mean that we are the same person.

Tegan Robinett

You know, in times like these, drugs sound really good.

Zoe Lance

Necessity is a mother.

Ken Gleason

There is no such thing as you or me. There's no such thing as nothing.

Lauren Ruben

Everything is the same, even if it's different.

Lauren Ruben

Everything is the same, even if it's different.

Lauren Ruben

How am I not myself?

Lauren Ruben

If one is the loneliest number, then zero must be the luckiest; nothing can be luckier than nothing.

Jenna Gotthelf

Love. It's worth more than all the money in the world, and yet it can come crashing down like an avalanche.

Piper Matlock

Life should be lived as desinterestingly as possible, so that death arrives as a good thing.

Ricardo Luis

The real difference between living alone and living with others is that when you live with other people and you want a banana, you chose the banana at the most perfect ripeness. When you live alone, you just choose the ripest banana.

Andy Maag

The real difference between living alone and living with others is that when you live with other people and you want a banana, you chose the banana at the most perfect ripeness. When you live alone, you just chose the ripest banana.

Andy Maag

Best revenge is a happy life.

rosen zhelev

Best revenge is a happy life.

rosen zhelev

Wasted time is like dried clay: useless and impenetrable.

Lindsay Stern

Love is often the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Nadia Wasabi

love is an ABILITY
heartache is an EMOTION

Deon Wilson

Emotions are
when “fragileness” in life is every days existence

Siv Östman

When souls converse, words fall silent.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV

Leonid Sukhorukov

When souls converse, words fall silent.
Leonid S. SUYKHORUKOV

Leonid Sukhorukov

In the war between good and evil, the only winner is war itself.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV

Leonid Sukhorukov

Before you bet on who will beat who, first find out who’s backing who!
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Each life is a momentary flash in the crucible of Eternity.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

A subtle aphorism needs erudition not explanation.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Nothing in nature disappears without trace, except the natural environment.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

There are two species of mankind: homo giviens and homo takiens.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Give a flea a horseshoe and it will think itself a horse.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

To enter Paradise, avoid it in life.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov

Leonid Sukhorukov

Anything is funny if you laugh at it.

libby s.

Feeling guilty
After eating ice cream is
Rediculous

Madison Bassett

Don't try to do things, do try them!

manos chatzikonstantis

Don't try to do things, do try them!

manos chatzikonstantis

The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as of the greatest virtues.
-René Descartes

Topher Fulton

Do what makes you happy and figure out a way to make money doing it.

Will Price

Ideas are funny things; they don't work if you don't.

Mik Peters

Sometimes I think to myself, I would be better off dead, then I see your beautiful face. I guess I'll stay alive for a little longer

Nicole St. Hilaire

I am, first and foremost, to my dismay, due to circumstances and internal chemistry with which I am completely unfamiliar, an idealist.

Bailey Hutchinson

If you want to hold a house meeting in the kitchen try pissing in the sink

Jack Gardner

Snowboarding is more important than food, that is why snowboarders are skinny.

Nigel Storey

That's it. I'm not tying my shoes any more. Just don't have the time.

horatio salt

Love ALL your neighbours. Especially the girl next-door...

Coco Olver

Remember: Everything and everyone around you is made from the same stuff you are.

Anna Waters

I know too little of far too much.
But I feel more than ever.
I know too much of far too little.
And I'm certain of nearly nothing.

Steven Stringer

Nothing is beyond figuring out.

Steven Stringer

Time is a great healer. Don't call an ambulance, ring the speaking clock.

Simon Fraser

Tradition is habit on a pedestal.

Stuart Candy

Life is too short to wait for the green light.

Sasha Vidakovic

Bad men die like good men live, begging for forgiveness.

Brian Kupillas

if your nose is running, catch it before it leaves you.

Lawson Vaughn

poetry is an emotional cop out, and it's all i've written for the past five years

Bailey Hutchinson

No pain, no pain

La Mandita

Life is like Sex: Sometimes it is the best thing ever, and sometimes it just goes too fast

Bengali Bangali

We are our thoughts, to think about who you would be or who you wouldn’t be, will result in who you are.

Doug G

Life is unkind, unfair and probably unnecessary

Robert Cox

These are things I know: hope floats, love conquers, and truth is perceived, never known.

Cait Clutter

Life is a dream, then you wake up.

Manny Hovanesian

For pessimists, every cloud has a silver lining: even when the worst happens, they can always say "I told you so"

Ruth Lang

Never trust a ponytail

Daniel Silburn

I am not a Robot

Baloney Face

Life is a lot like a car. You get in, THEN YOU FUCKIN DIE!

Baloney Face

Aphorisms should never involve cars.

Baloney Face

Happiness or joy or twatever you call it is like a woman's orgasm it can never be attained it can only ensue. Scuze me I have to get back to work.

Baloney Face

Seeming isn't being . . .,wanting isn't doing.

rh bee

I am here. You are here. It is now. The rest is speculation.

Wayne Wightman

Once you learn that life is a dream, you wake up to reality.

Jack Arouchian

An open mind still has a door.

Rob Stradling

Nothing is "perfect". Because if something was "perfect" it would have one flaw, that it does not have any flaws.

Aamir Laique

Hindsight is only useful once we invent time machines.

Ming Y.

It's all terribly important, and none of it is.

Ashley Kramer

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single click.

Ryan Gobbe

If you can't dazzel `em with cash,
baffel `em with loose change

Sean Delgado

If you ain't dancing yo blocking

Yo Hop we Drop

Yo Ho Ho

Jaffa Wilson

I did the things i needed to do, when things get to hard to do, yo should to.

Rune Reinli

All aphorisms go into my own personal 'Aphorism Thunderdome' Two aphorisms enter, one aphorism leaves. Thus, through this crucible of fire, you end up with the answer to pretty much everything.

Robin Scott

Seeing through a new pair of glasses won't change your mind, but seeing through new eyes will.

Dragus Adrian

"Take a walk in his/her shoes..." -- I'd rather not walk in someone else's shoes when I can barely do so in mine, thanks.

chriss pham

“be the worst you can” is some advice to give people about yourself

Joao Coelho

Sanırım lirik sözcüğü en çok yüzüne yakışıyordu
Yüzündeki kuşkun kedere, gür kirpiklerinin altından
Kısık lambalar gibi ışıyan gözlerine
Çerçevesine sığmayan
Munis, sokulgan, hüzünlü resimlerine
Lirik sözcüğü en çok yüzüne yakışıyordu.

your circassian prince

Özge
Seni
Çok
Seviyorum

z a

Özge
Seni
Çok
Seviyorum

z a

Goodbye Bush: no more playing air guitar with my sanity

Biff Geezman

People are silly, they all take life so seriously; when none of it is permanent.

karson kaylee

Life is a research project... the trick is to get it funded.

Punya Mishra

arrogance is seldom else but veiled insecurity

chris carrassi

I am not a jar.

Bob Jar

I am not a jar.

Bob Jar



The meaning of life is the meaning in life.

Daniel Weir

The answer to all questions in married life -
"To please you".

gwyn williams

Nothing can be proven ultimately because everything is based on at least one assumption.

Lily Manganiello

I work all day and I chase my woman
Why don't she chase me sometime?
Everybody wants to be wanted
I mean I ain't no scarecrow cop

(from a John Prine song)

savanna puckett

If you were the water I would set myself on fire.

Colby Wallis

some people have called me smart. Some people have called me an ass. Most people have called me a smart ass.

savanna puckett

If you come with me, can I go too?

Sandra Collins

life is like lotto, if you play you can win.

r4mcst3r lopez

It isn't Simple to be Simple!

Shachar Pessis

For generosity, there is no such thing as ingratitude.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV

Leonid Sukhorukov

Love can dwell in the simplest shack, especially if you own the forest.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV

Leonid Sukhorukov

Welcome the fool, for in his shadow we appear brighter.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV

Leonid Sukhorukov

It’s dangerous to beat your chest if you have a heart of stone.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV

Leonid Sukhorukov

Some marriages give bachelors a master's degree.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV

Leonid Sukhorukov

When you teach a man you teach a person - when you teach a woman you learn a lesson.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV (Book "all About Everything", UK, 2005)

Leonid Sukhorukov

aphorisms personify hollowed out, abandoned tree trunks. majestic on the outside and full of shit on the inside.

Flavis Bones

when you reach the inevitability of failure, you realize that it might, or might not, outweigh the prospect of success. but this, my friend, is for you to decide.

Flavis Bones

If you aren't looking for you, you must be looking at you, and if you look at you, well...you just look.

Flavis Bones

All aphorisms drip with irritating certainty.

Wes Dunham

"Alcohol: That which renders any attempt at being polysyllabic all but impossible."

"Alcohol: The aqua vitriol of life."

"Bacchus: The Greek god of drunken football chants."

Bren Tierney

If I could take back anything in my life, I would probably take back writing this aphorism as it will undoubtedly cause me to reevaluate everything I have done, do, and will do.

Sunny Hashmi

Pain is vivid. Joy is blinding. In between is the bland haze we wander through for the vast majority of our lives.

Matt Gonzales

If something is impossible just think about it more.

John X

IL NE FAUT PAS PERDRE SA VIE A LA GAGNER

gadhoumi Mrad

If size didn't matter it wouldn't be in question.

m crooks

If there were universals, all would see them.

m crooks

Sincerity is everything.
If you can fake that, the rest is easy.

Ceylan Pojon